Hospital Update: Amber goes from good to great

[Click Read More]
I've decided to write an update on our daughter Amber, and her situation post major Heart surgery, as a few people have emailed me, asking if everything is allright.

The reason why I haven't updated again recently, is that I'm trying to not, 'write from my own myopic perspective', to those that are interested I am deeply grateful.

First Amber's recovery is progressing very well. She has now got rosy cheeks, warm pink hands and warm pink feet. This is something that she didn't have before her last operation.

Despite previous extensive surgery, Amber's resperation level was 84%,
The normal is apparently 98%. This is to do with the level of oxygen that is taken into the blood stream.

She is now at 95% with further improvement expected.

We don't have any 'digital' photos of Amber as someone forgot to pack the Digital Camera. [probably the same person who has been harping me to buy her a New digital camera that doesn't take about 40 seconds between shots to 'reload'.]

We have the modern day equivalent of the 'Edwardian still camera' that involved people having their heads in Braces so as able to keep still enough. It cost a fortune back when digital cameras were a novelty, but now it just doesn't cut it.

Its slow to shoot, save, flash, retrieve and the worst thing is it makes you wait a seemingly eternity between shots when the kids are being spontaneous. Try coordinating three little girls smiling similtaneously whilst waiting for the camera to be 'ready'.

Anyway, we did take normal photos, when we finally get home I'll scan a 'before and after photo so you can see just how much our little girl has endured.

If I may be candid when Amber came out of surgery she had 4 large 'fish tank' tubes emitting from her chest; She had wires that were actually poking out from her heart connected to external wires.

She had pressure sensors which were plugged thru fine holes in her chest into the arteries of her heart, she had an array of heart monitor wires pasted on her chest, wires attached to a probe on her finger, an automatic blood pressure cuff that inflates every certain small period, two canulars for injections on both arms, about five drug adminstating machines, about six bags of liquids and other pipes, tubes, wires, bottles, machines that I can't remember.

To a parent that finally gets the beeper message to go to the IC ward, to come round the corner and see your unconcious child in essence a mass of wires.tubes and electronic gizmos that beep loudly the second a reading doesn't come in is disconcerting to say the least.

To the trained ear, these different beeps bops bings and bangs indicate different sensors are temporarily for a multitude of reasons not getting a reading. To the professional, the occassional blip instead of beep doesn't mean pacnic stations.

To the parent praying at their childs beside each blip signifies another possible looming disaster. You get used to the beeps and the bops, but you freak when you hear the odd blips and boops and wonder what that sound means.

You look at a series of medical monitors that have more numbers on them than NYSE on a bad day and you pretend that the ones that you do partly understand can 'reassure' you/ balance out that ones you don't understand, in essence you convince youself things are ok.

Slowly as the attending doctor feels more confident, tubes and pipes and wires are slowly stripped away, revealing more and more of your child.

Amber now has almost no monitoring and only two drainage tubes from her chest cavity, she is getting her appetite back and is able to with some assitance be escorted to the bathroom. We have been 'rigging up a wheel chair to take her on short trips, to the accomadation we have been staying at.

We're staying at a Ronald Mcdonald house, this house has been a real blessing for my family. Now I know a lot of Jews wouldn't be eating at Mcdonalds but Mcdonald's charitable program of supporting seriously ill children and their families is one very bright star in their day to day corporate operations.

I've got some funny stories about staying here which I will be posting on tomorrow.

Any way the gist of the matter is Amber is recovering well, the heart surgeon is very happy, and avoiding setbacks, the operation looks like it has been a Very big success.

Thank you to all the people that sent emails, left comments and have been davening we really appreciate it.

regards
Bagelblogger

Read More...

Summary only...

Hospital Update: Amber goes from good to great

[Click Read More]
I've decided to write an update on our daughter Amber, and her situation post major Heart surgery, as a few people have emailed me, asking if everything is allright.

The reason why I haven't updated again recently, is that I'm trying to not, 'write from my own myopic perspective', to those that are interested I am deeply grateful.

First Amber's recovery is progressing very well. She has now got rosy cheeks, warm pink hands and warm pink feet. This is something that she didn't have before her last operation.

Despite previous extensive surgery, Amber's resperation level was 84%,
The normal is apparently 98%. This is to do with the level of oxygen that is taken into the blood stream.

She is now at 95% with further improvement expected.

We don't have any 'digital' photos of Amber as someone forgot to pack the Digital Camera. [probably the same person who has been harping me to buy her a New digital camera that doesn't take about 40 seconds between shots to 'reload'.]

We have the modern day equivalent of the 'Edwardian still camera' that involved people having their heads in Braces so as able to keep still enough. It cost a fortune back when digital cameras were a novelty, but now it just doesn't cut it.

Its slow to shoot, save, flash, retrieve and the worst thing is it makes you wait a seemingly eternity between shots when the kids are being spontaneous. Try coordinating three little girls smiling similtaneously whilst waiting for the camera to be 'ready'.

Anyway, we did take normal photos, when we finally get home I'll scan a 'before and after photo so you can see just how much our little girl has endured.

If I may be candid when Amber came out of surgery she had 4 large 'fish tank' tubes emitting from her chest; She had wires that were actually poking out from her heart connected to external wires.

She had pressure sensors which were plugged thru fine holes in her chest into the arteries of her heart, she had an array of heart monitor wires pasted on her chest, wires attached to a probe on her finger, an automatic blood pressure cuff that inflates every certain small period, two canulars for injections on both arms, about five drug adminstating machines, about six bags of liquids and other pipes, tubes, wires, bottles, machines that I can't remember.

To a parent that finally gets the beeper message to go to the IC ward, to come round the corner and see your unconcious child in essence a mass of wires.tubes and electronic gizmos that beep loudly the second a reading doesn't come in is disconcerting to say the least.

To the trained ear, these different beeps bops bings and bangs indicate different sensors are temporarily for a multitude of reasons not getting a reading. To the professional, the occassional blip instead of beep doesn't mean pacnic stations.

To the parent praying at their childs beside each blip signifies another possible looming disaster. You get used to the beeps and the bops, but you freak when you hear the odd blips and boops and wonder what that sound means.

You look at a series of medical monitors that have more numbers on them than NYSE on a bad day and you pretend that the ones that you do partly understand can 'reassure' you/ balance out that ones you don't understand, in essence you convince youself things are ok.

Slowly as the attending doctor feels more confident, tubes and pipes and wires are slowly stripped away, revealing more and more of your child.

Amber now has almost no monitoring and only two drainage tubes from her chest cavity, she is getting her appetite back and is able to with some assitance be escorted to the bathroom. We have been 'rigging up a wheel chair to take her on short trips, to the accomadation we have been staying at.

We're staying at a Ronald Mcdonald house, this house has been a real blessing for my family. Now I know a lot of Jews wouldn't be eating at Mcdonalds but Mcdonald's charitable program of supporting seriously ill children and their families is one very bright star in their day to day corporate operations.

I've got some funny stories about staying here which I will be posting on tomorrow.

Any way the gist of the matter is Amber is recovering well, the heart surgeon is very happy, and avoiding setbacks, the operation looks like it has been a Very big success.

Thank you to all the people that sent emails, left comments and have been davening we really appreciate it.

regards
Bagelblogger

Read More...

Summary only...

Haveil Havalim 99 is up: The end of an Era

The End of an Era
The Very Last
Double Digit
HAVEIL HAVALIM!
Number 99!!!

This is a historic moment in Haveil Havalim,
so take a deep breath, Me-ander as always has worked tirelessly.
Stick your thumb out and hitch a ride if you have to, but don't miss this Journey.

__________________________

The 100th Edition of Haveil Havalim is next week. Bagel Blogger is lucky enough to have the privilege of hosting HH100. Please note that to make #100 special we're asking everyone to submit a post from this year and, if they have it, a post from last year. Submit your posts here via Blog Carnival.

Me-ander Well Done!
: * Meander *Jerusalem Games * Soccer Dad * Haveil Havalim, Number 99 * Haveil Havalim * Haveil Havelim99 Haveil Havalim * Me-ander * Shiloh Musings * Greetings From French Hill * Me-ander * Daled Amos * Psycho Toddler * betbender * meander * The Clash of Civilisations * shilohmusings * yourish * israelrules * lifeinisrael * me-ander * asimplejew * Elder of Ziyon * Abbagav * abaleboosteh * sultanknish * muqata * Israel * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger *

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2006 Dishonest Reporter of the Year Award The Year of Mis - representationThe art of 'fauxtography'.

A lot of things have been happening in the last few weeks. Now you might not have noticed that HonestReporting.com has released its 2006 awards for exceptionally bad media reporting.

HonestReporting's sixth annual recognition of the most skewed and biased coverage of the Mideast conflict.

2006 Dishonest Reporter of the Year Award
[Click Read More]
Listen to HonestReporting's Premier Podcast
Listen to HonestReporting's staff talking about some of the best and worst media from 2006 on our premier podcast. Click on the icon to the left to listen. (It may take a few seconds to download so please be patient.)

History won't look back on 2006 as a pleasant year for Israel. We saw Hamas voted into power, Ariel Sharon crippled by a stroke, Qassams rain on Sderot, and the kidnappings of Gilad Shalit, Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev. Our hearts and solidarity went out to one million northern Israelis forced to hunker down in bomb shelters for weeks. We saw too many senseless deaths, none more poignant than Daniel Wultz, Eliyahu Asheri, and the Taluzi brothers.

Most of all, we'll remember 2006 for Israel's two-front war in Lebanon and Gaza.

Honest reporting's Dishonest Reporting awards primarily focus on 'fauxtography,' the manipulated images, staged photos, and inaccurate captions that repeatedly tainted Mideast coverage. Space didn't allow us to elaborate on many other noteworthy incidents of skewed reporting. Visual veracity was the issue of 2006.

Honest reporting's intent is not to make sweeping generalizations about all photojournalists. Most are honest people admirably working under difficult conditions; many risk their lives to record history's first draft. But important questions remain unanswered. What safeguards help editors detect altered images? Where do the rush of deadlines and the speed of technology leave the slower work of fact-checking? What do ethical standards, if any, say about posed shots? Were some photographers simply duped?

Foreshadow of the Year: Zoran Bozicevic
This National Post photo editor anticipated 'fauxtography' days before war exploded in Gaza and Lebanon. As one dubious photo after another crept into the mainstream coverage, Jules Crittenden, a Boston Herald editor, validated Bozicevic. Crittenden?s blunt assessment:

Everyone in the news business gets taken for a ride sooner or later. It's an occupational hazard. What is surprising is the scale of it in Lebanon. And what is tragic about this is, as a Boston Herald photo editor noted, editors everywhere can no longer trust the pictures from Lebanon. The public cannot know what is staged and what is real.

Worst Director: "The Green Helmet"
Salem Daher, a.k.a. Abdel Qadar, a.k.a. "The Green Helmet"
Though Daher insisted to AP that he's just a Lebanese civil rescue worker, the German TV show ZAPP caught him directing other cameramen, posing for photos with casualties and having a body unnecessarily loaded into an ambulance a second time for better footage. ZAPP accused the ubiquitous Daher of abusing the dead. (Wikipedia clarifies the confusion over his name.)

Worst Caption (newspaper): NYTimes
The NY Times was caught up in the fauxtography scandal thanks to a break down in the caption-writing process. This caption in a slide show suggested the man was dead. Bloggers wondered how a man killed in the strike could look so very much alive in the slide show?s other images. Ironically, the Times had Hicks' correct caption for the same photo in a separate report on July 27. The Times issued a correction and apologized to Hicks for the bungle. In October, Hicks explained to Photo District News his view of the affair.

Worst Caption (magazine): Time
When a Hezbollah gunman was photographed near a billowing pillar of smoke, Time wrote a caption stating the fire was started by a downed Israeli jet. But Israel didn?t lose any aircraft over Lebanon. In fact, the fire was started by exploding Hezbollah rockets destroyed in an air strike.

As other questions threatened to stain the reputation of photographer Bruno Stevens, he posted the story behind the photo on Lightstalkers. He included other notable facts and photos from the scene.

Worst Use of Props: BBC
In this photo, a Lebanese child stands next to an unexploded Israeli shell. Is the child or the bomb the prop? BBC's Martin Asser explains that it was the boy:

When Um Ali Mihdi returned to her home in the southern Lebanese city of Bint Jbeil two days ago, she found a 1,000lb (450kg) Israeli bomb lying unexploded in her living room.

The shell is huge, bigger than the young boy pushed forward to stand reluctantly next to it while we get our cameras out and record the scene for posterity.

Worst Buzzword: "Disproportionate"
Although Israel?s air strikes were limited to Hezbollah targets, the word "disproportionate" became the standard catchphrase of criticism. Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen debunked the disproportionate use of that buzzword. After the war, it became clear that Israeli strikes were anything but disproportionate.

Retraction of the Year: Kofi Annan
The outgoing UN Secretary General, who joined the global chorus unfairly blaming Israel for the Gaza Beach incident, to his credit, retracted criticisms of the IDF, saying he had responded to "media speculations." We await retractions from those media speculators.

Canard of the Year (USA):
Thomas Ricks of the Washington Post
Ricks accused Israel of deliberately leaving Hezbollah rockets intact for P.R. purposes. Appearing on CNN's show, Reliable Sources, he said:

"Israel purposely has left pockets of Hezbollah rockets in Lebanon, because as long as they're being rocketed, they can continue to have a sort of moral equivalency in their operations in Lebanon?. It helps you with the moral high ground problem, because you know your operations in Lebanon are going to be killing civilians as well."

Canard of the Year (Europe):
Robert Fisk of the Independent
Rushing to judgment, Fisk declared Israel guilty of using uranium-based shells in Lebanon, though UN tests of soil samples were still in progress. The tests didn't detect any unusual traces of uranium, but Independent buried the findings. We await a retraction.

Sympathy for the Devil Award: CBC
When the CBC aired a sympathetic interview with the family of Samir Quntar about the possibility of the Lebanese terrorist's release in a prisoner swap (watch the interview here), they all but ignored the brutal attack that landed him in an Israeli prison, and didn't bother interviewing any relatives of his victims. After HonestReporting-Canada took action, the CBC followed up, interviewing Smadar Haran Kaiser, the woman whose family Samir Qantar murdered (watch the follow-up interview here).

Worst Cartoon of the Year:
Martin Rowson of the Guardian
The day after publishing this nasty cartoon, The Guardian apologized, but only because the Jewish stars in the illustration "might have been interpreted as implicating Judaism rather than the Israeli government in the present conflict."
[BB] This cartoon got me so riled I did an alternative, to see it click: Here

Worst News Executive:
Dr. Snuki Zikalala of the SABC

Dr. Zikalala, the news director of the South African Broadcasting Corp., gets this award for blacklisting various reporters, commentators and analysts. Though most personalities were banned for their views on South African politics, Paula Slier found herself blacklisted because her coverage of the Mideast conflict crossed Zikalala's red lines. He wrote in a memo:

From the movement where I come from, we support PLO. But she supported what?s happening in Israel?. I said no, you can't you can't undermine the Palestinian struggle, you can't. For me it's a principle issue.

Worst Tangle of Media, Political & Judicial Interests:
The French "Establishment"
French media analyst Philippe Karsenty was found guilty of defaming France-2 TV and reporter Charles Enderlin for criticizing the network's footage of Mohammed Dura. Karsenty, the founder and president of Media-Ratings discussed in an exclusive interview with HonestReporting how the trial touched on larger issues of anti-Zionism in the French media, the icon status of Mohammed Dura, Israel's response to the affair, the disturbingly close relationship between French media and political elites, the fairness of French justice, even the role of the new France 24 international news station.

A parallel suit against Pierre Lurcat was dismissed on technical grounds. A third suit against Charles Gousz is yet to begin.

Worst Hypocrisy:
Arab Cartoonists
We were struck by the Islamic rage over the Mohammed cartoons, while Arab cartoons are rife with demonizing anti-Semitism and Holocaust-denial.

Most Consistently Manufactured
News Event: Bil'in
Broadway would envy the longevity and theatrics of the scripted clashes at Bil'in each Friday at the site of the security fence. One week, the "media event" even included Reuters' participation.

Most Improbable Question of the Year:
Is the BBC Pro-Israel?
Read Martin Walker's commentary to find out why the answer is no. If you?re still in doubt, consider the following: the BBC rejected key proposals put forward by the independent commission of inquiry, it stonewalls on Freedom of Information requests for the Balen report, and high level figures admit the Beeb is out of touch with viewers.

Dishonest Reporter of the Year:
Adnan Hajj

Working for Reuters, Hajj was caught poorly altering one photo of Beirut destruction and another of an Israeli jet firing flares. The doctored images - first spotted by Mike Thorson and blogged on Little Green Footballs - suggested a greater extent of Israeli destruction than really existed. Unlike other "fauxtographs," the sloppiness of Hajj's work suggested not a breakdown of procedure but deliberate doctoring.

Hajj claimed he only used Photoshop to remove dust marks, but Reuters severed all ties with the photographer and removed all 920 of his photos from its database. The furor touched off the heightened scrutiny that led to our other ignoble honorees.

* * *

Hopefully, we'll see in 2007 better safeguards preventing another "Photoshop of Horrors," tighter caption-writing procedures, and clearer and enforced standards addressing posed photos. We also hope that the speed of digital photography and the rush of deadlines don't rush past the needs of fact-checking.

Honest reporting covered a lot of ground in 2006, and with the help of readers -- our eyes and ears -- we'll continue monitoring the media in the coming year.

For further details of Honestreporting's awards please check out:
2006 Dishonest reporter of the year award

Bagelblogger: I recommend making a trip to Honestreporting at least once a week. It gives you an insight into just how skewed the media really is.
If your in the situation of making a contribution, you money is well utilised with these guys.

Honestreporting Keep keeping them honest!!
: * News * Biased Photos * Lebanon bias * Adnan+Hajj * Media Manipulation * Australian * Media distortion * Arab Duplicity * Honest Reporting * Israel * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

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Now the Butcher of Bali, Bashir wants damages

IN the ultimate insult to Australia's Bali bombing victims, radical cleric Abu Bakar Bashir has bragged that he is planning to sue for damages after a controversial decision to clear him of terrorism charges.

The families of victims of the 2002 attack told of their despair that Bashir – widely regarded as the spiritual leader of the terrorists who murdered their loved ones – is free and planning to cash in.

And in a chilling warning, Bashir said his acquittal by an Indonesian court on Thursday was a blow for countries such as Australia and the US – and "heavier blows" would follow.

Spike Stewart, whose son Anthony was one of 88 Australians who died, said: "I just can't understand them saying, 'No, he had nothing to do with it'. The whole world knows he's guilty except for Indonesia.

"Now he'll probably sue for false imprisonment."

Bashir confirmed he might seek damages from the Indonesian Government for the 2½ years he spent in jail.

In a bizarre, rambling speech, Bashir – who has denied any involvement in the bombing – said the judges' decision was "honest and brave".

"This is evidence that even though all this time the West think that they can subjugate Indonesia, there are still some Muslims and Indonesians who have the courage to convey the truth," he said. "I hope the West will open their eyes – and if they remain adamant, there will be heavier blows. This is a blow and a warning for the West."

Victims' families said they were disgusted with the Supreme Court decision and that their Christmas had been shattered.

"He's ruined my life, he's ruined my family's life," Mr Stewart said.

"He's ruining hundreds and hundreds of families in Australia and all over the world."

Former Coogee Dolphins rugby club president Albert Talarico said the families of the six players who died in the bombings were devastated.

"I feel very sorry for the families at this time, that they would make this announcement three days before Christmas," he said.

Bashir, who according to intelligence is the spiritual leader of terrorist group Jemaah Islamiah, had been convicted of conspiracy over the bombings that took 202 lives.

Survivor Peter Hughes was disappointed but not surprised with the court's decision.

"Indonesia is a very corrupt society and I think they feel Bashir could be more of a problem with his followers if they didn't let him off," he said.

Australian Prime Minister John Howard said he was upset – but powerless to intervene.

"It is the court system of another country and we can't change that," Mr Howard said.

"But it doesn't stop us feeling upset and I know there will be a feeling of anger on the part of the parents and loved ones."

BB: Spiritual Leader of a terrorist organisation, Jemaah Islamiah ....sometimes I wish Australia would learn from a certain other country, the correct way of dealing with such terrorist leaders who openly and wantonly espouse hatred and violence.

References:
Daily Telegraph: Now Bashir wants damages

:Bagelblogger Thanks for Voting!
: * Jemaah Islamiah * Jemaah Islamiah Spiritual Leader * Bashir * Abu Bakir Bashir * Indonesia and Terrorism * Australian * Butcher of Bali * Terrorist and Bashir * Bali Bombing 2002 * 88+Australian Victims * Islamic Fundamentalism * Bashir+verdict+overturned * Australian bombing victims * Bali * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

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Ho, Ho, Hotttttttttttt!

[Sorry I know xmas themes are a drag, but, this was too funny not to at least mention.]

IT may be winter in Europe, but Swedish Santas are feeling the heat after a batch of synthetic beards were found to be flamable.

"Ho ho!'' soon became "Oh no" for Santa Claus impersonators after Sweden's national testing institute found a certain model of beard on sale turned into a raging inferno when coming into contact with a naked flame.
[Click read More]

"We placed the beards on a peg in a laboratory. We placed a small flame underneath for two seconds to simulate a situation where Father Christmas gets too near to a candle or match,'' fire expert Per Thureson said.

One of the firms selling the dangerous beards called on customers to return their furry appendages while another told worried Santas they could return them if they wished.

"Taken into account that numerous Father Christmases are not completely sober at Christmas, there is a risk they may hurt themselves,'' the statement added.

BB: Sounds like a really tacky liquor; A flaming Santa

:Bagelblogger Thanks for Voting!
: * Santa * Xmas up flames * Smokin Santa * Santas Beard Flammable * Flaming Christmas * Santa on Fire * Israel * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

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Australian's Outrage: Abu Bakar Bashir cleared of 2002 Bali Bombing conspiracy charges

Indonesian Muslim cleric Abu Bakar Bashir

The Butcher of Bali escapes Justice again.

Indonesia's Supreme Court has overturned a guilty verdict against Muslim cleric Abu Bakar Bashir for conspiracy in the deadly 2002 Bali bombings , a court spokesman said today.

Some foreign governments accuse the cleric of having led a regional extremist group and the move is likely to anger countries such as Australia, which lost 88 nationals in the bomb attacks on nightclubs on the Indonesian resort island.

Bashir was released in June after completing a 30-month jail sentence for being part of a conspiracy behind the bombings.

The Supreme Court, in response to an appeal by Bashir challenging the verdict, ruled that the cleric was not guilty of that crime.

"It has been been granted. He was not proven guilty. Of the 30 witnesses presented during his trial, none confirmed that Bashir was involved in the Bali bombings," Supreme Court spokesman Joko Upoyo said.

The Antara state news agency quoted the chief judge on the panel examining the case, German Hoediarto, as saying the court had ordered that Bashir's name be rehabilitated.

Bashir reacted calmly to the verdict, his lawyer Mahendradatta told Antara.
"His tone was calm when he reacted to the decision," he said.

Western and regional intelligence officials say Bashir was the spiritual leader of Jemaah Islamiah, a Southeast Asian extremist group blamed for the Bali bombings and a string of other deadly attacks in Indonesia in recent years.

The Bali blasts killed at least 202 people, mostly foreign tourists.
Western nations, especially Australia, had previously protested against what they regarded as too lenient treatment of the frail-looking but sharp-tongued cleric.

White-bearded and bespectacled, Bashir has consistently denied any connection to that or other attacks blamed on Jemaah Islamiah.

BB: The man visits the Bali Bombers, he has been recorded actively encouraging attacks against moderates and westerners, he espouses hate. This is the face of Indonesian Justice. Where 1 person get 6 months jail for kilos of Cocaine, and a Australian National gets 20 years for Marijuana for refusing to pay bribes.

The Indonesian Justice system is a disgrace, their internal corruption is a disgrace, this mans release, let alone conviction being quashed is beyond belief.

Western Nations need to recognise their pandering to Indonesian 'moderates' as an attempt to control radicals actually only empowers both Muslim fundamentalists and extremists.

There is a raft of Xmas terrorists warnings for Indonesia and Bali, surely 3 days before christmas is too little too late?

References:
Daily Telegraph: Bashir cleared of Bali bomb conspiracy

:Bagelblogger Thanks for Voting!
: * Bashir * Australian * Bali bombing * Bali Bombing 2002 * Abu Bakar Bashir * Abu Bakar Bashir escapes justice * Indonesian Justice * Bali * Australia and Bali bombing * Indonesian Corruption * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

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Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest week 9

Week 9 Of Bodgey Bagel's Incredible Caption Contest!
For Entry into Bodgey Bagel's Caption Contest Week 9
Leave your Caption for the Photo in the comments.

All entries must be in before Wednesday 27th December

...Would Love to see OJ's Bronco Chase scene with these guys!

Caption away! Leave your entries in the comments section before Wednesday 27th December.
May the best caption win!

The Winner of Last weeks Contest No 8:(20th Dec)

[Click Read More..]

The Eigth 'almost famous' Bodgey Bagel Weekly Photo Caption contest.

The 8th Bodgey Bagel Caption Contest winner is.....Drum Roll

1st Place: So who's the ungly duckling now? [ LittleBirdies ]
2nd Place: and stay on that side of the wall you colored folk! [ Rafi G ]
3rd Place: Birds n The Hood(or more correctly --Boids n The Hood) [ Rodney Dill ]
4th Place: Excuse me, you're not from this neighborhood are you? [ elliot ]
5th Place: Hey, who you callin' a jive turkey? [ elliot ]
Honorable Mentions:
HM: Come back fellas, I can throw another shrimp on the barbie. [ elliot ]

Bagel's Dishonourable Mention: Come on you guys give me a wing up[BB]

To those that won victory is yours, to the others there's always next contest! Bagelblogger

Other blogs with Caption Contests:
Outside the Beltway
Rightpundits.com
The Clash Of Civilizations
Willisms
Commonwealth Conservative
Bullwinkle Blog
The Right Place
Bravozulu
The Gone Rick Motel
Blogmeister USA
Cowboy Blob
SgtStryker
Wizbang Blog

With Thanks to all those that entered - Bagelblogger.

:Bagelblogger Appreciates your Vote!!
: Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 9 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 8 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 7 * Caption * Funny Caption * Funny Photo Caption * Caption Contest * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 6 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 5 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 4 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 3 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 2 * Funny * Humor * Laugh * Captions Contest * Jew * Australia * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

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Has your Chanukah been a little dull? Need to brighten things up quickly?

Looking to brighten Up your Chanukah? These little candles are the Bomb!

Sometimes you wonder how such a bad idea ever hit the market.

It seems some bright spark has decided to combine flamable plastic and Chanukah Oil Candles together in one ready to roar fuel/fire mixture.

If you feel your Chanukah hasn't been quite upto to scratch, it's been a bit quiet and you're in desperate need of a few dramas then these oil candles are throughly recommended.

The problem seems to be the 'Ready to Use' Chanukah Oil Candles are erroneously assumed to be jelled extra virgin olive oil encased in 44 glass cases.
In reality the cases are made of flamable plastic. After a few minutes of use, they begin to melt, liquifying into a raging ball of fire guaranteed to light up, not just your window, but probably your neighbours windows too.

A Brooklyn resident reported his entire menorah was damaged, and considerable further damage was narrowly avoided. To think people may light these firebombs and then go off thinking they are safe!

Baruch Hashem no one was hurt, some one needs to withdraw these from the market before a disaster strikes!

Thanks to This Is Babylon, and for further info check out:
CONSUMER ALERT: Ready-to-Use Chanukah Candles Are Fire Hazard

:Bagelblogger Happy Chanukah!!
: * Chanukah * Chanukah Consumer Alert * Chanukah Heats Up * Fire Warning * Chanukah Fire * Chanukah Fire Hazard * Chanukah and Danger * Jew * Australia * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

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JBlogger Interview: Bagelblogger interviews Santa, Ho Ho Hum

Well its 4 days before Christmas and the crowds are hitting the malls; it seems the Red Fat guy is every where at the moment.

Bagelblogger inspired by the Jewish Blogmeisters recent JBlogger interviews, managed to catch Santa long enough to interview him.

Here is the result:

BB: How has Christmas been for you?

Santa: Better than it was for J.C.

BB: Mr. Claus, I'm going to have to warn you straight away. There's a lot of Christians out there that won't take too kindly to a Jewish Blogger interviewing Santa and allowing Santa to make jokes about J.C.
Santa: O.K. I'm sorry, it's just after 2000 years and official advice from the Vatican that the Jews weren't responsible for J.C's death; I thought they might have relaxed a little by now.

BB: Let's move on

Santa: That's what I'm saying.

BB: Err. How is Mrs. Claus?

Santa: Cold

BB: Is that because you live at the North Pole?

Santa: No, She thinks I ignore her all year round, and I only visit her once a year.

BB: Ignores obvious double entente.

Santa: Like, what does she expect? For 364 days I'm absolutely no one, then for 24 hours, I'm supposed to fly around and deliver presents to over a quarter of the World's population then deliver her......

BB: Is it true that Rudolf doesn't actually have a red Nose, that it's actually the rest of the reindeers that actually have a Brown Nose?
Santa: mm Yes But I don't like where this is going.

BB: Can you explain to us Santa why the reindeers have brown noses, yet Rudolf who is at the front has a red nose.
Santa: It's really simple. Rudolf wouldn't show his appreciation, and that's why he's now leading the pack through the frost bitten skies. The rest of the reindeers have brown noses because well their like the Democrats, they follow, they don't lead.

BB: Ok. Now we've all heard your Christmas Chants, err carols, where did the expression Ho, Ho, Ho come from?
Santa: Well its kind of a long story, but let me just say, its not me on that video with Paris Hilton.

BB: So tell us what's with the big red suit?

Santa: Well it's hardly going to be a small red suit

BB: How do you manage to carry all the toys for all the children in your sack?

Santa: It's a very big sack.

BB: Where are the Elves this year? Have they been helping you?

Santa: The Elves received redunacy pay outs, they were superflourous to our needs.

BB: That doesn't sound much like 'Christmas spirit'

Santa: Christmas Spirit has changed this year. Its now sold in the bottle.

BB: You're selling Christmas spirit in the bottle?

Santa: Yes it comes as a special cellar 6 pack.

BB: Why couldn't you envision the elves in your future plans?

Santa: You try running a business with a 110 elves running around going ompah ompah diddle do. The costs were killing us.

BB: What extra costs were incurred?

Santa: All the Elves wanted disability parking

BB: and this couldn't be accomodated?

Santa: They all have Lear jets.

BB: Is it true you refused to deal with the Elves and their Union?

Santa: It was a simple demarcation dispute. The Elves had left the Christmas Workers union and joined the Tranport Workers special section for Elves. Their union is now called the Twelves. The twelves demanded more pay on account of Elves being smaller and therefore specialist workers. We just couldn't afford the pay increases, especially the bribes.

BB: mm. Lear jets for elves,.. Have you thought about updating your sleigh?

Santa: Sure I get one Job a Year, and I'm suppose to blow it all on some import that offers better fuel economy.

BB: Are you saying that Santa's sleigh is actually petrol driven and not driven by Reindeers?
Santa: Let's just say, Reindeers make cool coat racks.

BB: Ok so a new sleigh isn't an option, what about Pimping up your Sleigh?

Santa: Sure, we had a corporate deal organised this year, the sleigh was going to be renamed K_fed's Sleigh. Then it fell through.

BB: What happened

Santa: On its first test flight it crashed and burned, it was horrible

BB: Why not call it Britney Spears Sleigh

Santa: Because Mrs Claus said she was Santa's Sleigh.

BB: Is Mrs Claus the jealous type?

Santa: Lets just say, how would you feel if your man went visitn Christmas eve and gave a billion woman exactly what they wanted?

BB: I've heard a rumor that you were formerly a Coke Ad?

Santa: I deny it. I've never been a coke addict. It's not true. My nose has always been red and bulbous, ask Kate Moss... and all that powder found in my Sleigh, that was Snow.

BB: Er Santa, I meant a Coke Advertisement.

Santa: Oh, sorry about that, no I didn't need to advertise, every one knew I was the biggest in the business.

BB: What was the secret to your success?

Santa: Getting in early and offering home delivery. You know that Pixy Stix [Wizz fizz] stuff you had as a kid?

BB: Err yeah

Santa: It's not wiz fizz it's Columbian Snow.

BB: Are you saying you've been sereptiously feeding Coke to the nation's youth?

Santa: Only if they don't inhale.

BB: What do you think about criticisms leveled at you that you're just an over inflated failed coke ad that has managed to commercialize a Christian day of rememberance?
In actual fact you have sold out the very essence of what Christmas was all about.
Santa: Show me the Money!

BB: When you're busying Ho Ho Ho - ing do you ever think, hey some of these people might not appreciate your values and culture being rammed down their throats.
Santa: No

BB: Do you have a position on Walmart discontinuing the expression 'Happy Holidays' and replacing it with the politically incorrect Merry Christmas?
Santa: Yes. I do have a position with regards to this. My Position is that I'm accepting of all faiths and cultural sensitivities. I'll let any one sit on my lap as long as they spend their money in my store.

BB: Want about people of Jewish Faith? Do you think they want to be continually greeted with Merry Christmas?
Santa: Since when did what the Jews want matter?

BB: Ok, Well what about the over 1 billion Muslims, surely they have a right to an opinion?
Santa: Yes they do, of course, that's why the U.N. favors them and the Arab league over the smaller Nation of Israel.

BB: No I actually meant with regards to Christmas Greetings.

Santa: Oh, I thought they had their own form of Christmas

BB: Really, please tell.

Santa: Well it's more of a wish list than actually getting presents

BB: Please do explain

Santa: Well from what Mahmoud has been telling me

BB: Excuse me Santa. Is this Mahmoud Ahmadinejad you're talking about?

Santa: Who else would it be?

BB: Well there's more than one Mahmoud

Santa: Please tell me you're joking

BB: Well I mean there's more than one guy with that name.

Santa: Unbelievable. So there's more than one guy called Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?

BB: Let's move on, What does he want on his wish list?

Santa: He keeps singing this weird song. He keeps going on about the 12th ...

BB: The 12th Day of Christmas?

Santa: No the 12th Imam. He told me not to say anything, but apparently when he was at the U.N. not only did he see an aura over peoples heads, he also felt like he was on top of a pony riding it.

BB: Whoaaah. That's weird

Santa: You're telling me. The guys a few sparkles short of tinsel. You know what he said he wants for a present?

BB: Enriched Uranium?

Santa: I wish, that would be easy, since the Russians started offering radioactive meals as standard on their Business class flights, it has never been easier to transport it.

BB: Ok What does he want?

Santa: A State Funeral

BB: A State Funeral? Is he dying?

Santa: No he wants a State Funeral for Israel.

BB: Ok let's address a few other things Santa.

Santa: Sure

BB: Some people infer that the whole concept of Christmas has been reduced to a rather shallow consumerist frenzy.
Santa: I disagree

BB: About the Consumerist Frenzy bit?

Santa: No about the reduced bit. I've grown 6 waist sizes in the last 10 years alone.

BB: Have you thought about losing a bit of weight?

Santa: What for?

BB: So it would be easier to slide down Chimneys

Santa: Roars with laughter. You actually buy that Crap?

BB: Well no, I'm Jewish

Santa: You're Jewish? What do you do for Christmas?

BB: Interview over weight Fat guys.

Santa: Oh,

BB: Now it would be amiss if I didn't ask you how you manage to seemingly be at many locations at once.
Santa: It's really Simple actually. There's one real Santa and thousands of body doubles.

BB: Am I talking to the Real Santa?

Santa: Well if you're not Mrs Claus is not going to be happy.

BB: What's your impression of Christmas Tree Jews?

Santa: There much like people who describe themselves as half Jewish

BB: Sorry I don't follow?

Santa: Well, it seems to me Christmas Tree Jews basically want to hedge their bets. They've got a foot in the Jewish Camp and a foot in the Santa Camp.

BB: Why?

Santa: If you ask me its pretty smart, you go around telling all your friends your Jewish, so you get to leave early on Fridays, because your Jewish no one at work expects a Xmas Present but due to political correctness all your colleagues buy you a 'Happy Holidays' present...

BB: mm. Ok. Why do you chose to live at the North Pole?

Santa: Because it stops the door to door salesmen.

BB: You get lots of door to door salesmen?

Santa: No, unless you include Mormons?

BB: You get Mormons at the North Pole?

Santa: We used to, until we started inviting them in and giving them milk and cookies.

BB: Why did they stop after Milk and Cookies

Santa: Milk and Cookies are the names of our two Siberian Timber wolves

BB: I'm getting the feeling that you're not always striving to be politically correct Santa?

Santa: Look at it from my perspective for a change.

BB: Sorry?

Santa: All Day long I get absolute Brats saying to me I want this and I want that and I want this.
Then they either vomit on me, pull my beard or start balling at the drop of a hat. All through this I'm supposed to smile for the cameras, then, you tell me I'm not always Politically correct?

BB: I didn't realize it was so hard being a Shopping Centre Santa

Santa: Who said anything about being Santa, I'm talking about representing my
electorate.

BB: You're in Politics?

Santa: Of course

BB: But you only work one day a year?

Santa: and?

BB: What do you think of US politics?

Santa: If it was up to me I'd give ex US Presidents, the Santa remedy

BB: What's that?

Santa: You send them to a really cold desolate place and hear from them once a year. They expresses their opinions, they copy and plagiarize material for a book, and all this then reminds you why you didn't vote for them in their last election.

BB: Are you speaking about any particular US president?

Santa: Only the US President who couldn't differentiate between scr#wing the Public, Interns, and the truth.

BB: Did you ever think he didn't have Sexual Relations with that Woman.

Santa: I think he was trying to express the truth but got seriously confused.

BB: Please Explain

Santa: Well when he said he didn't have sexual relations with that woman what he really meant to say was he had sex with every other woman.

BB: Alright Santa, its getting late and the time is drawing near. There's one thing I've always wanted to ask you.
Santa: Yes

BB: What do you get for Xmas?

Santa: Mrs Claus gives me a little something.
Last year it was shot gun pellets. They still hurt.

BB: Mrs Claus Shot you ?

Santa: and swore if I ever came home three days later, drunk, smelling of perfume she would make sure I never got to deliver any presents out of my sack again...

BB: I think we'll leave it there Santa.

Original Written by Bagelblogger
For other 'Season' humor try: Jewsmas.com

:Bagelblogger Ho Ho Ho!
: * JBlogger interview * Christmas Interview * Christmas other cultures * Christmas and other ReligionsBagel Interview * Christmas Tree Jew * Jews and Christmas season * Santa interview * North Pole * Chanukah * Jewish Humor * Funny * Israel * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger *

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