MrBagel Funny: Latest Joke Listed

MrBagel News: Hottest News Stories

Bodgey Bagels Latest Caption Contest

Mr Bagels Latest Cartoon

Mr Bagel Latest Videos

Saturday, 19 May 2007

New Black Panther Leader banned from entering Canada

TORONTO — Jewish and black leaders in Toronto stood side by side Friday to quell the “rage and frustration” that followed a decision to block a controversial black American lawyer and activist from entering Canada.

Malik Zulu Shabazz, leader of the New Black Panther Party, missed a speaking engagement at a rally at Queen’s Park on Tuesday because he was not allowed across the border. The New Black Youth Taking Action network, which organized the protest, angrily blamed the “Jewish lobby” for the ban.

The tension had to be dealt with in a “mature manner,” black religious leader Rev. Don Meredith said at a press conference. He was joined by executives of B’nai Brith Canada, which had called on the government to keep Shabazz out of Canada.

“Today is not about dialogue, today is not about building bridges. Today is about partnerships, it’s about real, concrete working relationships,” said Frank Dimant, executive vice president of B’nai Brith Canada.

“As you know, there has been violence in the city over the last five years amongst our youth,” said Meredith, of the GTA Faith Alliance. “And so, it is not time for us to look at ways for dividing or bringing individuals in that will divide us. We have to look for opportunities that will bring us together.”

The New Black Youth Taking Action network was not invited to Friday’s event, but Meredith said he intends to reach out to its membership.

Meredith said he opposed the entry of Shabazz, just as he would oppose the entry of anyone who spread hateful messages.

Shabazz is a criminal defence lawyer based in Washington, D.C. who helped organize the Million Man March with Louis Farakhan of the Nation of Islam. He has been quoted as saying at a Harlem rally in 1998 that “the only solution any time there is a funeral in the black community is a funeral in the police community.”

He told the National Post this week that his intention was to “preach a message of love and solidarity among black people” at the Queen’s Park rally and said his denied entry into Canada calls into question the sanctity of free speech in this country.

Marvin Kurz, national legal counsel for B’nai Brith Canada, said the decision to oppose Shabazz’s entry was “a matter of consistency and principle.” He said the human rights organization took a similar position in the 1990s, when a group of Ku Klux Klansmen “tried to come to Canada and say pretty much the same kinds of things that Mr. Shabazz has said in the past.”


Shabazz has stated previously Jews were:
"substantially and significantly involved in the African holocaust" and "Zionists are causing problems for people of colour around the world".
He is a previous member of another controversial black group, the Nation of Islam.

BB: The New Black Panthers aren't about civil rights or equality, they represent the worst elements of race segregation and inter racial hatred. Shabazz has an appalling record for both racism against whites and for Antisemitism, he has continually tried to put forward that Israel was behind the 9-11 terrorist attack.

Its good to see that Canada will not tolerate this bigot.

Canada.com: Jewish, black community leaders call for calm
ADL Report on: Malik Zulu Shabazz
ADL: New Black Panther Party for Self-Defense

Further reading:
BBC: Radical black leader to visit UK


Thursday, 17 May 2007

If I forget thee… A very personal recollection

If I forget thee...
Chaim from Freedom's Choice has had a rather moving post of his featured on JPost.

He wrote it back in 2006 to celebrate Jerusalem Day.

Its definitely
worth the read.

The JPost essay is here: If I forget thee…
A very personal recollection

The original post: If I forget thee… A very personal recollection

For more background on Jerusalem day:
The Knesset: Jerusalem Day - A Historical Introduction

Picture Credit: Knesset.gov


Mr Bagel needs your help; and would like to set a few things straight...

The Final Countdown:

ell its five hours to go until the voting for the JIB awards finish.

There's a half a world between me and the rest of most of you.
Living in Australia, in the outback is very hard. I don't have the usual 'Jewish connections', in fact I see my Rabbi and Shule in Sydney, very rarely every time I do a 4ookm journey to Sydney.

We will be moving in 6 months time back to Sydney from this beautiful but very remote place that we live in. Its tough being were we live, unlike most of you, you see the Internet as simply a auxiliary connection to a few Jews speckled around the world.

The fact of the matter is, to us Danielle aka Baleboosteh, and myself Aaron ,aka Bagelblogger you are our world.

It may sound really lame, but every moment we spend on the computer on the Internet is in an effort to try to connect with other fellow Jews. For us there is at the moment no other way.

You are our family, and like families we do argue, we do disagree occasionally.

Now I will not deny that any one voting for Danielle or myself in the next 5 hours would be greatly appreciated, the voting in our class is very very tight.

Danielle: Best Photo/Graphics Blog

Aaron: Best of the Rest

Aaron: Best Designed Blog

But I'd like to talk about something else.

Something more important than winning.

I'd like to talk to all the fellow bloggers out there (like us) who dont have 350 commenters visiting their blogs, the bloggers who sometimes question themselves why they blog, and do they really get the return of the energy and emotion that they put in, back out.

All the smaller bloggers who have tirelessly advocated for Israel, tirelessly spread positive words and wrote advocating on Jewish issues.

There will be a few happy winners to day, they will get their JIB award for best..., whatever.

Some of them will go on and announce to the world 'Winners of 17 blog awards in the Jewish and Israeli Blog Awards', something that they should be ashamed of.

To the organization that pretended to support these awards, but actually used them as a cynical self promotion exercise, you should be ashamed of your selves. You will now have the chutzpah to publicize your 'awards' and announce yourselves as the award winning blogs of....

To these blogs and to their owners, you have done a disservice to yourselves and to the other bloggers which blog with such a passion.

The greatest disservice is the theft, yes strong word, theft of an award which should go to the bloggers who blogged all year round, not just when the awards are coming up.

To the bloggers who slogged it out, and wrote regardless of the lack of acclaim and thanks, who receive very little recognition, you are the real winners of these awards. You are the ones most worthy.

The bloggers who wrote 70 posts a month or more during the Lebanon War, not the bloggers who wrote 19 posts in the whole of 2007.

I would like to address the real winners of this years JIB Awards competition.

The bloggers who refused to compromise, refused to do things they knew weren't right. They refused to vote for themselves more than once. They refused to change they're behaviour despite the presence of Arutz Sheva and other organizations blogs.

This was never a level playing field, It was never a fair test of who has a good blog, it was simply, who was best at ambush marketing themselves, sending the largest number of spams, getting the best media campaign and even to the point of acting unethically.

There's only one winner in these JIB's, and its not the people who won JIB awards, its the people who refused to compromise on what they knew was right and what is wrong.

You know who I'm talking about, and to those people you are the winners.

Shalom Aaron
Mr Bagel

I live in Australia so 10pm vote closing time is not 10 pm closing time for me.
I've woken up especially early to write this post, its 5 am, and its is absolutely freezing.

I wish all the ethical jbloggers out there the best of luck.


Idf Babes vs. Hezbollah Babes

This post is no doubt in some ways politically incorrect,
but the comparison is just too funny!

If you havent been over to check out the
IDF babes v's Hezbollah Babes
then I suggest you do.

The blog is by Ari from Ari's Blog


Wednesday, 16 May 2007

Akiva reports on reasons why the voting was temporarily halted

In a bizarre scenario Mr Bagel happen to be on the computer burning the early morning oil, I noticed Akiva was logged into his gmail account.
Which for me was surprising as I dont think I've ever had more than one conversation with Akiva via gmail. I don't think either of us are the 'messaging guru' type.

I glanced occasionally noting who might be on board the Gtalk express but was really too occupied to take any real notice.

After finishing the New Mystery Blogger Series in the wee hours of this morning I decided it might be a good time to see how much I'm being trounced in Best Design Blog [results and voting] and how well (yay!!) in the JIB's I'm going in 'Best Of the Rest Blog' [results and voting]

Now I happen to care about the results of the JIB, and I make no apologies for this.

Best New Blog
Best New blog is an interesting category as its a good indicator (or should be) of rising stars of the JBlogosphere I have been keeping any eye on it to see who is who in the zoo.

Now I was pretty surprised considering the technorati ranking and traffic that Jew and the Carrot gets that they have managed to all of a sudden tally- 465 votes.

I brought this to Akiva's attention:
(I have no malice I don't know who runs this blog nor do I overly particularly care)

Akiva has stated:

"Our investigation has shown a valid cause for the vote surge you spotted with The Jew and The Carrot. Turns out this blog is associated with an organization, and they emailed the whole organization to come vote. 5 minutes after their email, the vote surge started. The surge did not show any symptoms of previous hacks, all votes appeared kosher, only the pure volume. (And that's why we suspended to do more research, a hack that clean would require an immediate stop to maintain integrity.)

We have now actually received an email from another org blog, noting the surge via the email (seems they share some members, who forwarded the email to them), and intend to do the same.

If the JIBs are run in the future, clearly rules about HOW and WHERE one can ask for votes (like, only on the blog or be disqualified) as well as specific categories for organization, professional, and media blogs versus private bloggers must be created.


BB: Akiva makes some good points, what do others think about this?

Please comment on the Cross post located here: JIB Chatter


9 JBloggers Reveal a Photo of themselves!
The Mystery Blogger Series No #1

Welcome to the Mystery Blogger Series

This is # 1 in a Weekly Series

Ok You are about to see the photos of nine Jbloggers some of them Very well known, others not as well known. Now there's a little twist in the series, seems I've mixed up the names of the Bloggers and their Blog site addresses.
Mr Bagel just can't figure what might have happened, can't be too hard thou?

Now to go to the contest click here:
Mr Bagel Contests

Or click 'Contests' on the top menu at Mr Bagel


Tuesday, 15 May 2007

Have you checked out Mr Bagel Video?

Mr Bagel video is a new section of Mr Bagel, you can access it through the menu up the top, or if you prefer through: http://mrbagelvideo.blogspot.com/

Although most of the videos on Mr Bagel Video are contemporary videos, there is a special collection of Jewish Historical Videos, which are listed on the Historical Jewish Video widget located at Mr Bagel Video.

I've just finished adding 15 historical videos to the Mr Bagel Video Archive, make sure you check them out.

Mr Bagel


The Death of an old Foe

An Enemy of mine passed on today. We've battled each other solidly for at least the last 12 months.

We've never seen eye to eye. In fact a lot of the time we spoke different languages.

I don't know how many times this foe has misquoted me and stated things that I never actually said.

The most annoying part is I have had to work with this foe for over 12 months, I've had to get use to the oddities of behavior, the unreasonable demands, the snap work stoppages and probably the hardest part is the differences in what we think is acceptable behavior.

The funny thing is, its taken 12 months for me to get used to working with this foe, and now I'm so used to working together, the untimely demise has left me feeling all at sea.

I cant express what I really want to say. Every thing seems different. Things seem so out of place.

Nothing is where you expect it to be.

I'm not going to grieve long for my old foe, my nemesis was treacherous to say the least.

Its true my Foe would have witnesses more of my thoughts than any other in the last twelve months. But things change, life moves on, the ebb and flow of life continues.

I'm going to have to get used to working with a new team workmate. Its going to be hard. My old foe spoke with funny 'a's and dropped zz's when ever it seemed opportune.

I cant imagine my new work mate being so uncouth.

The irony is its taken me over 12 months to finally get used to the ergonomic rantings of my old foe, and now I'm finally used to all the quirks of my old foe, I'm going to miss you.

Although we rarely agreed, I wish you well in keyboard heaven.


Monday, 14 May 2007

Im Sorry but This is So Wrong!!!
Oh Gee I didn't realise that...
was an Arutz Sheva blog as well

If you think this is a recommendation list then good for you,...

If you click on any of these links then you're even more stupid than the rest of the bloggers in the JIB's including Mr Bagel! And Believe me we have been Stupid!

I want to be sick....

Now I'm going to get a lot of flack for this post, but I'm not going to sit here and watch these Awards be stolen away!

Too be quite frank I am sick of hearing 'We will adress that next year'

I want every single Jblogger to look at this list and if you were beaten by any of these blogs you need to ask yourself was it fair that these blogs were on a National newspaper and you weren't?

Why didn't the committee say something?

Why will they only act next year?

Now before you go saying I'm acting in self interest.

Right, now I'm actually Leader of Best of the Rest

If you think Mr Bagel might just be slightly sarcastic about the fact there are so many blogs directly associated with Arutz Sheva that got a major mention on the page below then you might be just a teeny bit closer to the truth.

Have a look how many of them are actually either winning or coming a place. Then think about how many bloggers that have blogged all year are going to miss out on that finals badge because they were gazumped by Arutz Sheva blogs.

Jewish Blog Awards Empower Alternative Voices

by Arutz-7 Staff

[Its just we dis-empower the alternative voices by not mentioning any of them except the ones that are by our staffers and our associates.-BB]

Several of Arutz-7’s own blogs, as well as some authored by Arutz-7 staff, have made it into the final round of JIB voting:

Fundamentally Freund – Arutz-7's first blog, by Michael Freund - Best Overall Blog (click to vote), Best Jewish Right-Wing Political Blog (click to vote) and Best Israel Advocacy Blog (click to vote)

Tamar Yonah – Israel National Radio's long-running star broadcaster - Best New Blog (click to vote) and Best Jewish Right-Wing Political Blog (click to vote)

Israel Beat - Israel National Radio's famed host of Jewish Music show The Beat, Ben Bresky – Best Jewish Music Blog (click to vote), Best Jewish Podcast: Jam Session (click to vote) and Best Jewish Podcast/Audio/Video Blog (click to vote)

Eishet Chayil - Israel National Radio show host Malkah Fleisher's blog - Best Cooking Post (click to vote)

Kumah – Arutz-7 News Editor Ezra HaLevi, Israel National Radio Program Director Yishai Fleisher, Radio Host Malkah Fleisher, Correspondent Gil Ronen, Radio Host Ze'ev Orenstein and Photography Contributor Pinchas Orbach and others - Best Group Blog (click to vote), Best Contribution / Jewish Blog that Made a Difference (click to vote), Best Slice of Life in Israel Blog (click to vote), Best Designed Jewish Blog (click to vote), Best Israel Advocacy Blog (click to vote), Best Jewish Humor Blog Post: Becoming a Real Israeli (click to vote) and Best Jewish Religious Blog-Post: The Shabbat Candle Ladies (click to vote)

Israel Perspectives - Israel National Radio Campus Radio talk-show host Ze'ev Orenstein's long-running political commentary blog - Best Jewish Right-Wing Political Blog (click to vote)

ADDeRabbi - Arutz-7 Latest News Correspondent Elli Fischer's long-running blog - Best Jewish Religious Blog-Post: Ball-Playing Rabbis (click to vote), Best Torah Blog Post: Why God Chose Abraham (click to vote), Best Jewish Picture or Video Post: Sukkot on Campus (click to vote) and Best Jewish News-Post: The RCA Conversion Scandal: What's the Real Issue? (click to vote)

Point of Pinchas - Arutz-7 photography contributor Pinchas Orbach - Best Jewish Photo/Graphics Blog (click to vote), Best Series: Only in Israel (click to vote), Best Jewish Picture or Video Post: "It Shall Come to Pass": 7 NBN Summer 2007 Flights (click to vote) and Best Jewish Personal Blog (click to vote)

Additionally, two Arutz-7 live-blogged photo essays cross-posted on the Kumah blog are in the finals for Best Jewish Live Event Coverage Blog-Post: Vineyards Uprooted, Trees Destroyed, Media Silent Because They Were Planted & Tended by Jews and We Return to Homesh! Ben Bresky's photo coverage of the Jam Session that took place in Arutz-7's studio was advanced to the finals in that category as well. (click to vote)

This post has been cross posted at JIB Chatter. If you would like to discuss this article please leave your comments over there.


Secret Deadly Yellow Ballon Spy devices invade Lebanon

When I read this story I had such a chuckle.

We've all heard about the depleted Uranium Death Bombs, the Laser Death Rays and the Biological white poison dust 'bombs' Israel has been accused of.

All these are variants of the thousands year old 'poisoned wells' and the we use baby blood for Passover genre. Well there's another loonies conspiracy theory you might want to add.

Add whats great about this one is it isn't a Passover one, Rather ho hum, so unoriginal now days, its a Lag B'aOmer one.

Welcome to the Deadly Yellow Ballons Spy Device Video



Hezbollah ‘Captures’ Chabad Balloons!

42 sec Video



Hezbollah Gratified by Conquest - of Lag Baomer Balloons
Balloons released by kids participating the lag Baomer parade organized by the Chabad House of Kiryat Shmona, landed on Hezbollah grounds in the nearby Lebanon. The balloons inscribed with the words, "We Want Moshiach Now", were given to children participating the parade organized by the shliach, Rabbi Yigal Tzippori.

The Arab television station ‘El Manar’ showed Hezbollah guerrillas proudly displaying their captured ‘loot’ which the station was reporting to be sophisticated Israeli recon equipment. The report was later pulled when they finally figured out what was actually written on the balloons!
According to a commenter on MentalBlog he noted:
I haven't seen any 'net news reports, but on Israeli TV there was a brief mention of a cluster of yellow Moshiach balloons holding a sign, where the whole thing drifted off into south Lebanon. The Hezbollah insisted that it was part of an Israeli spy-attack plan, but the rest of us are having a good laugh. Curiously, both Hezbollah and Mashichistim claim the same yellow color...
All this adds up to is theres thousands of 'Henny Pennys' running around Lebanon screaming the sky is falling in every time a Balloon or piece of lunch wrap floats over the border.

Well I have a dark and sinister plan, we should take advantage of these 'Yellow death balloons', we should start sending different colored balloons with descriptions of what they might be attached to them. Then every so often when the prevailing wind is right we release a few thousand balloons, send the civilian population into panic, send the top brass of the Hezbollah into scratch their heads mode and we get to have a good chuckle.

To all those Anti Semites who just said, 'thats terrible why would you want to upset a civilian population?' I'd like to ask you exactly what have you done about the Israeli population that has been undergoing a continuing rocket barrage for the last 6 months?

Any way here's my list of proposed Top secret Spy Balloons

  • The Deadly Yellow Spy Drone Balloons

  • The Ultra Sonic Death Ray Heat seeking Red balloons

  • The Xray Powered Neutron Green Balloons

  • and Finally the mother of all Balloons the:
  • 'its a False alert Pink Party Balloon with free invitation for Hamburger meals at the local Hezbollah party headquarters'. (Hezzbonald's)

Hattip Aussie Echo


Sunday, 13 May 2007

The Death of Femme Fatale Paris Hilton
A Modern day twist

Daniel Edwards - Paris Hilton Autopsy May 12 - 30


If it was real the headlines would Scream Paris dies in horrific auto accident. One gets the feeling the 'horrific' auto accident wouldn't be quite so kind in death as the sculptor has been to Paris.
Apparently this art was motivated by a desire to educate teenagers about the dangers of underage drinking. I'm not so convinced, especially when you consider the artists previous works.
I have no problem with Edward's art being 'confronting', that's what Art is sometimes.
I'm not so sure I feel so comfortable about Edwards justifying his art through attaching it to a underage drinking campaign.

He states he's using this celebrity:
“as a vehicle for a public-service announcement, to educate teens.”
Well actually to be truthful, I don't lay the entire blame at Edward's feet, I would more likely lay the blame at conservative bodies such as the National Center for the Endowment to the Arts.

This body has become notoriously conservative towards modern art. I would seem that any slightly 'provocative avant guard art' is suffering from the cultural cringe of America's heartland.

In a regressive action for America's cultural community, the actions of self censorship and constructed 'justifications' have become the norm.

It may well be that Edwards is simply marketing himself in a unorthodox way. But I have doubt his 'campaign' isn't motivated by the desire to slip under the odd fence.

You might pose how Paris Hilton end up in a former Brooklyn warehouse- naked, provocatively posed and seemingly lifeless? Despite the sculpture's ironic life like qualities - and its adaption of celebrity cultural values and first page paparazzi photo ethics' there does seem to be a rather sad bathos attached to the forlorn figure of Paris's dog.

The sprawled-out Hilton clutches a cocktail glass in one hand, a cell phone in the other as her distressed dog, Tinkerbell, jumps across her bare chest. Ironically I assume the pose might be reminiscent(?) if not suggestive of a particular genre of videos that have made the rounds of the Internet.

The artist has managed to capture a sense of the ethereal with the display of a mobile and cocktail glass, the sense of its has only just happened. She and her dog are wearing matching tiaras, again suggesting a sense of the 'unreal' which so closely follows Paris in real life.

The Hilton exhibition which opened Friday at a gallery run by Capla Kesting Fine Art in the Williamsburg neighborhood, featured removable innards on a display stand placed in a sexually suggestive manner next to the body.

The artist Daniel Edwards dressed in snow white standing close to the sculpture said;

“Around this time of year, I think of a couple of friends I lost in high school because of drinking and driving,..”

Paris Hilton's spokesman, Elliot Mintz, said he would have no comment on the work.

Edwards started the sculpture in polyester resin in January after Paris was arrested for a violation of her parole in an alcohol-related reckless-driving case.

A judge ordered Ms Hilton, 26, to report to a county jail by June 5 to serve a 45-day sentence for violating the terms of her probation

Paris has instructed her lawyers to appeal the sentence.

The 42-year-old artist Daniel Edwards, acknowledges that Hilton's primary claim to fame is
“as a seductress. But I do respect her ability to build this career out of pretty much nothing.”
He says his provocative use of empty celebrity, plus the shock factor,
“rings a bell, it brings it home. If one person is saved, that's awesome.”
43 year old Daniel lives in Moosup, Conn, and is the father of three.

Gallery director David Kesting said the sculpture counters a disturbingly glamorized trend of Hollywood girls gone wild.

Bagel speculates Paris herself may just end up being the highest bidder.

Students from thirteen to eighteen, are encouraged to take a virtual tour of the installation at http://parishiltonautopsy.com and then compete for prizes by writing an obituary of no more than 300words for the socialite.

At the competition website they quote a few media sources:

"Paris herself would probably take one look at the installation and draw, "Dude, I look great. DUI death is hot.""
- The New Yorker Magazine - The Fug Girls
"There's something about disemboweling a homunculus of Hilton that screams 'fine art,' "
- Wired Magazine
"a bizarre art campaign to warn against the dangers of drink driving."
- The New Zealand Herald
"Through an extraordinary alchemic transform- ation,
Paris Hilton's life has been given meaning."
- Dallas News [BB: meow!!]
- Fox News

I think the Fox News quote is just a little out of left field, I would have thought "Cold!" would be a little more accurate.

Strangely, Paris takes on a almost saintly appearance reminiscent of some reformation statues popular with Lords and Royalty at the time of burial.

If you go to the gallery, by the way, you're encouraged to touch.

A bit like going on a date with Paris, I suspect the conversation is probably just as interesting.


Brooklyn Daily Eagle
Paris Hilton Obituary Writing Contest

Picture Credits: Paris Hilton Obituary Writing Contest
Brooklyn Daily Eagle


Doll Face: Bizarre Video!

There's something very eerie about this,
are we facing the post modern existential angst

If the video doesn't play click here:
Doll Face

A machine with a doll face mimics images on television screen in search of a satisfactory visage. Doll Face presents a visual account of desires misplaced and identities fractured by our technological extension into the future.

If you'd like to see more weird things like this
make sure you visit Mr Bagel Weird


SShh! Whatever you do don't press that button!

Life is about choices, just like in the movie The Matrix,
in life you get to metaphorically chose to
take the
red pill or the blue pill.

Well you've got another choice now, which is to ignore this page or
press that button, which one is it going to be?