Mr Bagel: 19 November 2006

Friday, 24 November 2006

World Domination is about to begin!

Well at least a few more fans might start watching
Rav Shmuel's (Rabbi Samuels) pretty cool music video

I'll be looking closely to see if Mahmoud Ahmadinejad adds this CD
to his Amazon account, Yes we check your account Mahmoud.

Backseatblogger
Thanks for the HT!

: *Rav Shmuel * Rabbi Samuel * Protocols of Zion * World Domination * Youtube * Jewish Music * Funny Music Video * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

Thursday, 23 November 2006

Bodgey Bagel's Caption Contest Number 5

Week 5 Of Bodgey Bagel's New Caption Extraordinare!

For Entry into Bodgey Bagel's Caption Contest Week 5
Leave your Caption for the Photo in the comments.

All entries must be in beforeWednesday 29th Nov

OK this should be pretty easy: Fire Away!

Caption away! Leave your entries in the comments section before Wednesday, November 29nd. May the best caption win!

The Winner of Last weeks Contest No 4:(22th Nov)

[Click Read More..]

The fourth 'almost famous' Bodgey Bagel Weekly Photo Caption contest.

The 4th Bodgey Bagel Caption Contest winner is.....Drum Roll

1st Place: See if you would have done well in school, you would not have ended up stuck serving Ice Cream to a douche bag. [ The Man ]

2nd Place: Uh, excuse me you forgot my jimmies.. [ elliot ]
[I'm going to award this 2nd place, firstly I didn't know that Jimmies were, 'sprinkles' and even thou it may be accidentally a double entendre,(Jimmy Carter) its rather apt]

3rd Place: If no one's looking, I can... [ Batya ]

4th Place: Uh, I ordered French Vanilla.... [dennis ]

5th Place: "...but I changed my mind to Chocolate right after I ordered Vanilla." [Rodney Dil ]

Honorable Mentions:

HM: Thinking to himself as he glances up into the corner. "I think that spider is moving closer this way." [marsha ]
HM: "Uh... Teddy wants one now too, do you have any Scotch ice cream?" [ Rodney Dill ]

Bagel's Dishonourable Mention: Excuse me, Duh, but this microphone is melting? [BB]

Fantastic entries,thanks you guys! Bagelblogger

Other blogs with Caption Contests:

Outside the Beltway

RightLinx

The Clash Of Civilizations

Willisms

Commonwealth Conservative

Bullwinkle Blog

The Right Place

Bravozulu

The Gone Rick Motel

Blogmeister USA

Cowboy Blob

SgtStryker

Wizbang Blog

With Thanks to all those that entered - Bagelblogger.

Bodgey Bagel's Caption Contest 5 Get those Captions in!!

: * Caption * Funny Caption * Funny Photo Caption * Caption Contest * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 5 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 4 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 3 * Bodgey Bagels Caption Contest 2 * Funny * Humor * Laugh * Captions Contest * Jew * Australia * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

Tuesday, 21 November 2006

O.J Simpson seen driving in White Ford Bronco screaming I didn't write the book.

The News Corporation, a major media group, says it has canceled publication of a controversial book by former athlete and actor O.J. Simpson, who was acquitted in 1995 of charges that he killed his former wife and a companion.
Right: That White Ford Bronco

[Click read More...]

The corporation said it is canceling the book, titled, If I did It, as well as a television special featuring an interview with Simpson.

News Corporation chairman Rupert Murdoch said today the project was ill-considered. He apologized to the families of the murder victims, Ronald Goldman and Simpson's former wife, Nicole Brown Simpson.

News that Simpson authored a book about how he would have committed murder sparked new controversy. Several television stations affiliated with News Corporation's Fox Broadcasting said they would not air the TV special.

Although Simpson was acquitted, he was later found guilty in a civil trial and ordered to pay the victims' families $33.5 million.

Fred Goldman, Ronald Goldman's father, speaking on CNN television, urged people not to buy the book or watch the interview.

Goldman's relatives said they would pursue legal options to claim any revenues from the book.

Simpson was accused of the murders after neighbors found the bodies of Goldman and Brown Simpson on June 14, 1994 in front of Brown Simpson's home in Los Angeles. They had been stabbed several times and Brown Simpson's throat slashed.

Millions of Americans watched Simpson's first trial on television. His legal team painted the Los Angeles police department as biased against blacks.

Simpson has always maintained his innocence.

BB: Sure OJ, keep that line up we might believe it in a few thousand years from now.

Reference:

VOA.com: News Corporation Cancels OJ Simpson Book and TV Interview

Bagelblogger Always Fresh!
: *Fox and OJ *Fox and Juice * News Corporation and O.J.Simpson * OJ Simpson OJ Simpson and Book * OJ * Fox and Simpson * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger *

Monday, 20 November 2006

Must See Video Clip : Very Funny

If you haven't taken a trip over to Jacks Shack he has a very funny video on right now. Click the picture or this link to go and check it out.

[END]

Bagelblogger Always Fresh!

: *Jacks Shack * A Kissing test * youtube * funny video * funny * Israel * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

Bagel Blogger gets a face lift

Mr Bagel gets a New Look

For those thousands that are my regulars, [chuckle] you may have notice I have recently updated the 'mast' of my page.

For those that remember my old mast and have seen my new mast, feel free to tell me that you either like it, or you think it sucks.

Any feedback or comments are appreciated, even if they are to do with other aspects of my blog.

Bonus points to anyone that can point out the major landmarks and City my masthead is based on.

[If it stills looks like it always has, then refresh your page]

Bagelblogger

[END]

Bagelblogger Always fresh now with a new face!

: * New Blog Mast * Face lift * Mr Bagel * Mr Bagel Humor * Israel * Jewish * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

Sunday, 19 November 2006

Refresher course in: ' We just want territory to the pre 1967 borders, then we'll be really loving.'

Words to Dear World

The video is subtitled in French,
which appears suitable right at this moment. The audio is in English

References:

Words to Dear World

Wikipedia: The green line

You might not agree with everything Rabbi Kahane proposed, but this letter is very pertinent today.
[end]

Yourish thanks!

: * 1967 greenline * Israel * An open letter to the world * Israel and Palestinian * Rabbi Kahane * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger

What's in a name? Palspeak 101

From the moment we are born, things get labeled. It's a boy, It's a girl. Very soon, we, as beings, are named. Through our formative years we told, good ,good, bad, yes,no. Our very beings are shaped with and by our reactions to the meanings and interpretations of words.

Language is all powerful. Ever since that leap in cognitive ability from monotonal ugh, which husbands are sometimes known to still use to the enriched variants of ugh ugh, people have communicated their thoughts, feelings and aspirations.

The utter complexity of communication and all its nuances both visual, kinestical and variants is beyond this post, but to be sure for each different way of subtlety communicating their is at least a 100 fold ways of mis interpreting.

This post is less about communicating and more about mis communication.

One of the fundamental basics of communication is that at least two people must have a universal understanding or a basis of common meaning.

From this we develop 'nuanced' meanings. These are meanings which superficially are not immediately apparent.

Our whole language contains 'nuanced' meaning, this meaning adapts and changes as fashions, life situations change.

Have your ever gone to use a word and then thought, mm that's not quite what I want to say? Well a lot of that is the 'nuances' that come with each word and with collections' of words.

George Orwell brought into common parlance the expression 'Newspeak', ' doublethink'. [REF]

I would would like to bring your attention to another form of speak. Its been around for many many years, but just lately it seems to have been picked up as the new Esperanto of the Anti Semitic world it's called ' Pal speak' it seems to have been heavily influenced by another relatively new arrival 'Hezspeak' and to a far lesser degree by PC speak.

Characteristics of 'Palspeak':

Double meaning

Triple intent

I present the developing dictionary of

Palspeak

I welcome additions, or editorial discussions on the nuances of certain words and their associations.

Palspeak: A Dictionary that is by its very definition, changing

The Palestinians have really been working the 'palspeak'

A:

Activist: - A terrorist was a militant now they're an activist.

Americans: People who are big Satanists who support little Satanists

and 24 Civilian casualties: - If you are even within ear shot of a Israeli operation, you are able to claim 'shock' as an injury and therefore artificially inflate casualties.

B:

Bomb: An incorrect term used to express the name of a gift given to Intellectually Challenged individuals utilized by Hamas.

C:

Charity Center: - A Hamas Terrorist Operations room that is targeted by the IDF.

Civilian Casualties: -
[1] People who when encouraged to, are stupid enough to stand next to a Palestinian gunman firing at the IDF.

[2] Militants who have dropped their gun and now are masquerading as civilians

[3] Unknown categorization of casualty , hence forth as default referred to as a civilian

Casualty Breakdowns: When 51 out of 100 civilians are casualties they're mostly civilians.[even if there's is no acknowledgement of militant casualty figures, and the source that describes who is a militant and who is a civilian is questionable.[See Lebanon casualty break up].
-When there's 9 civilians and one IDF soldier casualties they are called Israel casualties including Defense forces.
-When there women who are obeying military orders and enabling the escape of Terrorists they are ' protesting civilians'

Cooking Accident: - If you receive horrific burns from an accident making explosives, say you did it cooking, don't forget to come back 12 months later to kill the Israeli doctors who saved you're life.

Crude Home Made Rockets: - [1] Rockets which don't nearly hurt as much when your dead.

[2] Tp Minimise the effect[in the media] on Israel's population, we call them Crude Home Made Rockets.

D:

Denied access to needed Psychiatric services: - Suicide bomber intercepted before setting off Suicide bomb.

E:

F:

G:

Geneva Convention: - An international convention on the treatment of civilians and armed forces, ostensibly used to protect military activities by the Palestinians, by continually breaking the convention,using it to shelter military actions, but quickly pointing out when Israel may have contravened the convention.

Greenhouses: A project sponsored by American Jewry where Palestinians are reclaiming large tracts of former lush green houses and turning them into deserts.

H:

Homemade rockets: - see Crude Home Made Rockets

Honor Killing: - An unfathomable traditional law that mans that a Female Family member is murdered.

Hostage Negotiations: - More akin to ransom demands after kidnapping an Israeli

Held up in Mosque: - Instead of saying illegally using a religious structure to shelter from the IDF, you refer to it as Held up in Mosque. (Pinned down is acceptable)

Held up in Church: - See above, except defecate on floor and hostages can be killed

I:

Injustice: Suicide bomber caught Before they set bomb off, unreasonably expected to serve jail sentence for attempt.

IOF: - Israel Occupation Forces. [Known in Israel as the IDF,] I personally love this one, straight away put the Jews in the 'bad' category then its a matter of just ' how bad'.

Israeli Military target: -Anything or anyone in Israel, especially buses and shopping centers.

Israeli Soldiers: - Jewish Civilians. All Jews over the age of 18 are military as they have done ' National Service' and therefore are either in the Army or just about to be called up.

J:

Jewish Death: unimportant yet strived for eventuality

K:

Kassams: - Palestinian Rockets which due to their absence of any real targeting system are used to reign terror upon Jews(and Arabs) living in Israel.

L:

M:

Martyr: -[1] Member of a Palestinian family clan who has actually been murdered by the clan feuds that prevail in the Palestinian Territories, then misrepresented as an IDF casualty.

[2] See Post Injustice.

Metal Workshop: - Kassam Rocket factory

Mosque: - A religious building used to store arms and hide militants.

Most were civilians:- When there is any doubt to the make up civilians to 'militants', Palspeak rule 101, is used.

If they're Palestinian they're civilians. If they're Israelis they're Soldiers

N:

O:

P:

Peace Activists: - Often confused for Israelis, unfortunately the standard test of sticking a knife in to them seems to miss one rather minor important point.

Peace process: - The procedure Palestinians use to get more territory whilst conceding nothing.

Prisoners: - The term used to justify the kidnapping of Israeli Soldiers who were clearly in Israel and were clearly fulfilling defensive roles only. It is hoped by using this loaded word the World will see them as some how guilty.

Palestinian Moderate: - Any Palestinian who hasn't killed a Jew in the last 24 hours.

Peace talks: - Talks which Western Nations with little understanding for the real intentions of the Palestinians foist onto Israelis, they prove to be very advantageous to Arabs. They tend to provide a scope for getting our lost lands [See Settler] with no real commitment to peace. We generally make a temporary Hudna, until the ink on the treaty is dry and the Israelis have left, then we break the treaty by utilizing our 'un manageable' separate terrorist entities.

Protesting Women: -The use of human shields to stop Israel from keeping militants separated from civilians.

Q:

R:

Recruitment Drive: Putting Pressure on Israeli authorities to release Prisoners so they can come back as suicide bombers.

Refugee Status: - The Status A Palestinian Uses to justify receiving payments from the United nations 60 years after they started a war and then lost it.

Right of Return: - A Palestinian political strategy to get leverage on the Israel - Palestinian question. No Jews who were forced or chose to leave Arab countries have been compensated in any way. Nor have they been offered a ' right of return'. Yet Israel is expected by Palestinians to welcome the very people who are fighting to destroy Israel with open arms.

Red Crescent Ambulance: - These are emergency vehicles which are used for transporting suicide bombs and Palestinian militants transporting patients which the 'IOF ruthlessly targets'.

Resident: -A militant who is busy trying to kill Jews, is referred to as a 'resident' of 'Blah Blah'.

S:

Secondary Explosion: - Amazing Physical phenomena where a Targeted car, truck, building that wasn't being used to store bombs or munitions seems to keep exploding over a period of time.

Settler: - An Israeli who dares live in an area which is currently being targeted for absorption back into the Pre 1967 borders, when the Arab countries attacked Israel. If the Arabs had achieved their objective of driving the Jews into the sea, then the world would have never heard any more about it. But because they lost and forfeited terroritories due to their expansionistic and genocidal plans they now want that terroritory handed back to them.

Shahid: - Any one with the lack of Mental dexterity to actually doubt they will get 72 virgins when they blow themselves up into smithereens.
T:

U:
Unforeseen Domestic Accident: What happens when you store high explosives and munitions under your bed.

UN: - A rather ineffectual organization that is known to bring almost half its resolutions, sponsored by Arab countries, against Israel whilst simultaneously ignoring real countries experiencing genocide.

UN Resolution 1701: - A resolution created to bring about a ceasefire between Hezbollah and Israel.

V:

Violence towards Women: - See Normal Palestinian Marriage

W:

Women Protestors: - If you're directed to march into battle to create confusion when Israel has successfully separated Militants from Civilians, make sure you're called this. Dying is permitted especially in crossfire situations where all deaths will be attributed to Israel Forces. Don't forget to bring extra clothing so militants can escape.

Work Accident: -When a Palestinian blows themselves and their family members up, it's an IAF attack until it comes out they were building bombs then its a ' work accident'. (usually only comes out due to factional arguments.)

X:

Y:

Z:

Zionists:

Despite its traditional historical meaning this meaning has been subverted and now means any Jew who in any way thinks they have a right to live peacefully in the' State of Israel '.