A New Edition of Monopoly:
Paris Hilton the Limited Edition
The manufacturers of Monopoly are proud to release its newest version of the world's most popular game.
It will be referred to as the Paris Hilton limited edition, (although rumor has it, it isn't quite such a limited edition.)
It features quite a few new additions, as well as some of the more traditional ones.
Some of the changes are:
This square is to be rededicated and redeveloped into an shopping center offering facilities such as a jewelry shop specializing in designer ankle bracelets and designer label prison attire. Catering to all your socialite needs. There are also plans a foot for a horror theme park where you can dress up as a prisoner and stay in Paris's cell. The Horror part is Paris will be in the same cell talking incessantly about herself.
Go Directly to Jail:
The Go directly to Jail, don't pass go, don't collect $200 dollars will now be reworded to now state 'Go Directly to your 8 bedroom mansion, have another snort of go, give your dealer $200.'
The Water Works is back, with tears flowing at an ever increasing rate.
Get Out of Jail Free:
The Get out of Jail Free card is now rescindable depending on the mood of fellow players.
These cards will be offered and then when the prisoner thinks they are free they will be rescinded with an ensuring media frenzy.
Community Chest is to be renamed the Paris Bra fund.
Instead of railways stations there will now be Hilton Hotels.
The New York Hilton
The Miami Hilton
The London Hilton
The Paris Hilton.
Due to some problems the Paris Hilton's upper floors seem to be vacant,
although its lobby area reports high turnstile activity.
The Chance cards will now be called the 'Absolutely last chance cards'
You'll receive 7 of these then you will finally be sent to Jail.
Instead of winning $10 as a runner up in a beauty contest, you'll now get nothing as there are no prizes for second.
The Electricity Company is back, but instead of showing a light globe its symbol will be am little more dim.
Poor Tax: (Luxury Tax)
The Poor Tax Square will now be called the Poor Little Ms Hilton Boo Who Tax, which isn't such a small sum, its a much larger sum now paid directly to L.A. County Sheriff's department.
Somebody doesn't have her license anymore, the space formerly used for free parking will now be used to build an alternative therapies college for traumatized rich brats instead.
Right: Paris on the Way back to Jail
The Poorer Neighborhoods
Some of the low cost rental properties are now going to be bulldozed and high rise Hotels and large mansions have be built instead.
Isn't it terrible, Paris is being treated like shes just, well common. Maybe she needs a present to brighten her day up?
I know just the thing! Some new boxers for her, how thoughtful!
Don't Forget to check out the New Paris Hilton game at Mr Bagel Games
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Saturday, 9 June 2007
Friday, 8 June 2007
Yes you heard right some how, Ms Hilton has managed to check out on medical grounds. Whilst she is busy checking out, why don't you check out Bagels new game blog.
Its underdevelopment, but seems Paris couldn't wait!
Mr Bagel Games
: Paris Hilton Checks Out * Paris Hilton * Paris in Prison * Paris out of Jail * Paris Jail Game * Paris+Game * Paris Hilton Game * Jewish * Mr Bagel * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger * Jew
Thursday, 7 June 2007
It's been a while since Mr Bagel has had a turn, and letting you in on a secret he is looking forward to it.
If you are interested in hosting an edition of JPix you can contact Aaron here editions have usually been booked months in advanced. This time there's two openings in the near future [JPix 12 and JPix 13]. I would especially welcome a new to the carnival JPixer, and would be quite willing to help any nervous soul.
Either way If you have been thinking of submitting your photos, well do it, and if you already are a carnival participant then its time to think about hosting JPix
Wednesday, 6 June 2007
There's a series of 11 videos showing the Israeli Government documentary of the 6 Day War of 1967 which have been posted at Mr BagelVideo
On Monday June 5, 1967, 14 Arab countries came thundering down on Israel. Their armies far exceeded hers. Their Russian-backed weapons resources were vast. Yet in six dramatic days, the little country not only won a decisive victory, but also changed the map of the Middle East. This was the Six Day War.
To see the full list of these Eleven Videos
and their links click Read More
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
PRETORIA[Click read more to see full article]
Tue, 05 Jun 2007
No country in the world has been able to flout international law as much as Israel in the four decades since the Six Day War, the South African government said on Monday.
Speaking at a reception for all the Arab ambassadors posted to Pretoria, South Africa's deputy foreign minister Aziz Pahad said the international community had failed the Palestinian people by not putting an end to the occupation of their land which was captured by Israel in 1967.
"Israel has been able to defy the international community with impunity ... No country has been allowed to get away with such blatant violations of international law," he said on the eve of the 40th anniversary of the Six Day War when Israel took the West Bank, Gaza Strip and east Jerusalem.
The 'facts' have not changed
"The situation 40 years on is still bad. Israeli settlements are continuing in Palestinians' territory. The facts on the ground have not changed.
"Israeli violence against Palestine is continuing. The Israeli authorities continue to arrest and imprison Palestinian ministers and legislators. The construction of the wall continues," he added in reference to the barrier being erected by Israel along the West Bank.
South Africa has been one of the most vocal supporters of the Palestinian cause, comparing their struggle against occupation with the fight against whites-only apartheid rule that ended in 1994.
In a statement, the governing African National Congress (ANC) also expressed their solidarity with the Palestinian people.
"Today, thirteen years after the end of apartheid, South Africans need to join hands and act in solidarity with the people of Palestine as they struggle for the realization of their basic human rights," it said.
"These include the right to self-determination and the return of the people of Palestine."
When one comes across drivel like this, the first temptation is to turn the page, click through to another more interesting 'news item', but thats where the problem lies.
I believe most people with a reasonable awareness of 20th century history and the undercurrents of world politics could spot the glaring inconsistencies in this article at 20 paces.
The unfortunate truth is, they're not the ones that need to be addressed. It's the less worldly more gullible audiences around the world which fall for this drivel, hook line and sinker that need to be provided with an easily digestible alternative option.
The Mantra they believe is, If it's written it must be true.
With the recent ANC support of the Palestinians becoming more and more overt, it would be easy to feel Israel is becoming more and more 'isolated'.
It's a master stroke of Arab stratagem that they have slowly of late began to rewrite the narrative.
Its not the narrative of the poorer areas of Cairo,these souls generally believe Nasser taught Israel a lesson back in 1967.
It's a far more sophisticated narrative that is slowly being rewritten for a far more astute and critical audience in the 21'st century.
Traditionally Israel has been held up in the pro Palestinian Pan Arabic world as the tormentors of the Palestinians, the fanatical oppressors of a poor under privileged and under empowered group of innocents.
A group of victims who have managed to develop a portfolio of victim hood that out maneuvers and blinds the world to far worst humanitarian tragedies.
The Palestinians have taken the art of playing Victim to a new level.
Initially the World was outraged, and allowed the Arab bloc to manipulate the UN assembly, and later the UNHRC and enable Sanction after Sanction to cloud the real horizon and the real truth.
Things are slowly changing. The Western world after 9-11 has become a little less patient of the 'Victim narrative which is interwoven with a terrorist themed duality'.
The so called 'Pigs and Apes' Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is so fond of driving into the sea isn't quite working, It's time for a new ad campaign.
With the huge expansion of media resources, and the empowerment of the individual through blogging, Israel is currently seeing the beginning of a new, more dangerous and omnipotent narrative.
Its a narrative which is dangerously seductive to the US State department, its a fix all, patch all promise of, well biblical proportions.
No longer is Israel seen just as the oppressor of the 'poor Palestinian', no the ante has been upped, the understated threat is understood.
The Arab bloc has recently and ferociously be writing the narrative of the 'If only'.
The premise is all the Islamic extremism, all the terror attacks, all the worlds suffering caused by terrorism is reducible to one magical equation.
and you might ask what is that equation?
Well If only Israel had been more peaceful, If only the Western world and been more 'consultative' towards the Arab world and the establishment of a state for the 'Jews'.
If only Israel would return to its borders of 1967....
The Western world is accused of trying to satisfy its own internal guilt by giving the Jews a homeland, the west had no right to promise.
It's really quite simple. If Israel hadn't been established against the desires of its Arabic neighbors then:
- There would be no Islamic Fundamentalism.
- There would be No Islamic Terrorism
- There would be No instability in the Middle East
- The quagmire called Iraq would be solved.
- Islamists would suddenly yell we love America rather than death to America
- Petrol would flow into our gas tanks at a ridiculously cheap price
and every one would be happy......
iafrica.com: SA slams Israel's 40-year occupation
: Israel * Israel and 1967 * Palestinian * Egypt 1967 * Jordan 1967 * Syria 1967 * 6day war * Jewish * Mr Bagel * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger * Jew
The Israeli Satire Lab is a world gone mad. In this parallel universe stern justice is handed down without regard to past achievements, and even acclaimed, Nobel prize-winning, genocidal terrorists are dealt with as if they were ordinary, run of the mill murderers, rapists and thieves. Lying, corrupt politicians are treated with disdain, while honest, hard-working whores are applauded. Join us as we try to escape this absurd, upside down world, by laughing at it all. Updated twice a week or more.
: Israeli Satire Laboratory * Satire and JBlog * Satire and Jewish issues * Israel & Satire * Jewish Satire * Jewish Humor * Jewish and Funny * Jewish * Mr Bagel * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger * Jew
The New York Times has an Op-ed by Tom Segev. In it he postulates what may have happened if Israel had chosen not to 'conquer the Arab sections of the city as well as the West Bank.'
Picture Credit: David Suter
I've included the whole article, as I would like to comment on it in depth in the near future.
I'm very interested in hearing other peoples thoughts on this article.
Please do comment.
Forty years ago today, on the morning of June 5, 1967, Jordan launched an artillery attack on the Israeli part of Jerusalem. In reaction Israel conquered the Arab sections of the city as well as the West Bank.
History is full of “what ifs,” and responsible historians should not indulge in such speculation. But journalists may. What if Israel hadn’t taken East Jerusalem and the West Bank in the Six-Day War? Would the Palestinian situation have found some solution and Israel be living at least in relative peace with its neighbors? Would Islamic fundamentalism and terrorism have been avoided?
Perhaps. But the alternate history is not as outrageous or inconceivable as one might think. Leading Israeli policy planners had determined six months before the Six-Day War that capturing the West Bank would be bad for the country. Recently declassified Israeli government documents show that according to these policy planners, taking over the West Bank would weaken the relative strength of Israel’s Jewish majority, encourage Palestinian nationalism and ultimately lead to violent resistance.
These comprehensive political and strategic discussions began in November 1966 and concluded in January 1967. The participants were representatives of the Mossad, the Israel Defense Forces’ intelligence branch and the Foreign Ministry. The documents they prepared were approved by Prime Minister Levi Eshkol and the army’s chief of staff, Yitzhak Rabin, and therefore reflect Israel’s strategic thinking six months before the war.
There was general agreement that it would be to Israel’s advantage for King Hussein of Jordan, whose country controlled the West Bank, to remain in power: he had, in effect, accepted Israel’s existence, so Israel naturally had an interest in strengthening his regime.
Hussein was also endeavoring to unify the West Bank with the East Bank and was encouraging West Bank Palestinians to migrate to the east. Over the preceding 15 years, the number of Palestinians who had left the West Bank for the east had reached 200,000. Moreover, approximately 100,000 Palestinians had left Jordan altogether. Hussein’s effort to integrate Palestinians was “a positive phenomenon from Israel’s point of view,” concluded the final position paper that emerged from that winter’s discussions. Hussein was acting to eradicate the Palestinian question, and this was an excellent reason not to take the West Bank away from him.
But when Jordan attacked the Israeli part of Jerusalem on the first day of the conflict, all reason was forgotten. Jordan’s attack obviously called for some kind of retaliation — but striking back at the Jordanian Army did not require the conquest of the West Bank or East Jerusalem.
Records of the Israeli cabinet meeting where the scope of the retaliation was determined are now available. Amazingly they show that not one of the cabinet ministers ever asked why it was in the interest of Israel to control the Arab parts of Jerusalem. Israel was about to take over some of the holiest places in the Christian and the Muslim world, but no analysts were called in to offer the cabinet alternative ideas. No experts on international law were asked to brief the ministers on the legal implications of their pending decision.
The ministers obviously felt there was no need to raise these questions: the answer was as clear as only fantasy can be. Acting under the influence of the age-old dream of return to Zion as well as Israel’s spectacular victory over Egypt’s forces a few hours previously, the ministers decided with their hearts, not their heads, to take East Jerusalem.
Their emotions propelled the Israelis to act against their national interest. It may have been a series of threatening moves taken by Egypt, or it may have been the intoxication of victory, but in view of the results of the war there was indeed no justification for the panic that had preceded it, nor for the euphoria that took hold after it, which is what makes the story of Israel in 1967 so difficult to comprehend.
And of course once taken, East Jerusalem could not be given back. To the present day it remains the major obstacle for a settlement.
I belong to a generation of Israelis who slowly but surely came to believe in peace. We needed to believe in it. The years since the 1967 conflict led us from war to war, and from one mistake to another. When new hopes emerged, they were overcome by disappointments, and then forgotten. Still, we regarded the conquests of 1967 as temporary and were encouraged by the 1979 peace agreement between Israel and Egypt, under which Israel withdrew from Egyptian territory captured in 1967. We believed that peace with the Palestinians would follow.
But peace with the Palestinians has not come one inch closer. As a result more and more Israelis realize today that Israel gained absolutely nothing from the conquest of the Palestinian territories. Speculating again in hindsight — Israel may have been better off giving up the West Bank and East Jerusalem without peace than signing the 1994 peace agreement with Jordan while keeping these territories. Forty years of oppression and Palestinian terrorism, both extremely cruel, have undermined Israel’s Jewish and democratic foundations. With about 400,000 Israelis living in East Jerusalem and the West Bank and with extreme Islamism as a driving force among the Palestinians, the conflict has become infinitely more difficult to solve.
Hence young Israelis have good reason to look at my generation and say, “You blew it.” I suppose we did. In contrast to my generation, these young people no longer presume to know what should be done to solve the conflict; indeed they often no longer believe in peace. Many resort to cynical skepticism and fatalistic pessimism.
And yet — less idealistic and more pragmatic than people of my generation — young Israelis may also be more realistic than us. Their immediate challenge is conflict management, rather than futile efforts to formulate grand schemes of ultimate solutions to the conflict. With fewer hopes and lower expectations they just may be able to make life at least somewhat more livable for both Israelis and Palestinians. Given the present circumstances, that would be no small accomplishment.
Tom Segev, a columnist for the Israeli newspaper Haaretz, is the author, most recently, of “1967: Israel, the War and the Year That Transformed the Middle East.”
References: NYT: What if Israel Had Turned Back?
: 6 day war * 1967 war * 1967 and Jordan * 1967 and Egypt * 1967 and Syria * 1967 and Israel * 1967 Jerusalem * Jewish * Mr Bagel * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger * Jew
Letters of Thought
The Jpix 9 Photo carnival opens on the 7th June.
JPix is a carnival for Jews and their pictures, it doesn't necessarily have to be that 'joyous expression of art' which photography can capture, it doesn't have to be just about photos of Eretz Israel, though they are most welcome, its not even about communicating some deep spiritual meaning in a long photo essay, although that's alright too, its about two things.
You're Jewish and you have photos you want to share, whether they be family, historical, artful, funny, quirky its about sharing, so get your submissions in for the next JPix.
their wonderful photos to JPix8
JPix 5 , JPix6, JPix7, JPix8,
I look forward to seeing some great photos in the next carnival JPix 9
Jpix9 * Jpix8 * Jpix7 * Jpix6 * Jpix5 * Jpix4 * Jpix3 * Jpix2 * Jpix 1* Jpix * Jewish Photography * Jewish Photography Carnival * JPix Carnival* Jewish Art * Jewish Photo Blogs * Jewish Photo Essays * Israel and Photos * Jewish Creativity * Jewish * Israel * Mr Bagel * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger
Monday, 4 June 2007
These two Videos feature the David and Goliath battle between Israeli Tank Commanders and Syrian forces that happened in the 1973 Yom Kippur War. This series of videos features a segment on the 'The Valley of Tears' an epic tank battle which helped turn the course of the war.
This two video's are quite inspirational and honor the sacrifices made to save Israel. The two videos are:
: Yom Kippur * Yom Kippur War * Yom Kippur War 1973 * 1973 Israel War * Egypt 1973 * Syria 1973 * Fourth Arab Israeli War * Yom Kippur War Video * Yom Kippur War Video * Against All Odds * Yom Kippur * 1973 Yom Kippur War * Mr Bagel Video * Jewish * Mr Bagel * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger * Jew
If you would like an insight into the the politics and maneuvering that was going on in 1973 then these videos will help provide some context.
If you would like to enhance your historical knowledge then I throughly recommend you go and view them. The four videos are:
: Yom Kippur * Yom Kippur War * Yom Kippur War 1973 * 1973 Israel War * Egypt 1973 * Syria 1973 * Fourth Arab Israeli War * Yom Kippur War Video * Yom Kippur War Video #1 * Yom Kippur War Video #2 * Yom Kippur War Video #3 * Yom Kippur War Video #4 * Yom Kippur War Video * Mr Bagel Video * Jewish * Mr Bagel * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger * Jew
Sunday, 3 June 2007
Battle at Kruger: A Must see Video
A battle between a pride of lions, a herd of buffalo, and crocodiles
Battle at Kruger
Text as per YouTube upload
Alan Johnston video released:
Let the world see the reality behind supposed Palestinian Peace Overtures
Alan Johnston video released
In three years here in the Palestinian territories, I've witnessed the huge suffering of the Palestinian people.
And my message is that their suffering is continuing, and that it is unacceptable.
Every day there are Palestinians arrested, imprisoned for no reason. People are killed on a daily basis.
The economic suffering is terrible, especially here in Gaza where there's an Israeli [audio jumps] absolute despair after nearly 40 years of Israeli occupation which has been supported by the West.
The situation in Iraq is even worse, we see every day maybe 100 or more Iraqis being killed, in the violence there which followed the failed invasion of Iraq by America and Britain.
Ordinary people who are losing everything and can't live their lives properly. Because of not just the violence, but the shortage of everything they need for normal lives, for bringing up their children.
Errr... Afghanistan, the situation again terrible.
You see on your television screens ordinary people [audio jumps] suffering as the armies of America and B... [audio jumps] America attack [audio jumps] attack.
In all this, we can see the British government endlessly working to occupy, err, the Muslim lands, against the will of the people in those places.
From history, the British worked to bring about the state of Israel, which is the cause of all the suffering of the Israeli... of the Palestinian people, and we, the British, are completely to blame, along with the Americans, for the situation in Iraq, and the British are the main force in Afghanistan, causing all the trouble to ordinary, simple Afghans who simply want to live.
To my family, my family... [audio cuts off abruptly].
[An on-screen caption says: "BBC refused to take this message to his family."]
My captors say that my release is subject to the following...""
[The video then plays an audio message from an unidentified man speaking in Arabic.]
""We want Britain to free our prisoners and we specify Sheikh Abu Qatada al-Filistini, and at this position we won't forget our prisoners in the other infidel states and we say to them, free our prisoners or we will deal with you the same.
We don't specify a state without the others. And we say if you want the ransom to free them we will give you to the last piece of gold as the Prophet, peace be upon him, told us to do. ""
: Alan Johnston * Alan Johnston and Gaza * Alan Johnston and BBC * Terrorism * Alan Johnston and Terrorism * Alan Johnston and Video * Alan Johnston and Hostage Video * Alan Johnston and Kidnap Video * Gaza Journalist Kidnapped * Mr Bagel Video * Jewish * Mr Bagel * BagelBlogger * Bagel Blogger * Jew