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Saturday, 9 June 2007

Monopoly releases new version:
The Paris Hilton Limited Edition

A New Edition of Monopoly:
Paris Hilton the Limited Edition

The manufacturers of Monopoly are proud to release its newest version of the world's most popular game.
It will be referred to as the Paris Hilton limited edition, (although rumor has it, it isn't quite such a limited edition.)

It features quite a few new additions, as well as some of the more traditional ones.

Some of the changes are:

This square is to be rededicated and redeveloped into an shopping center offering facilities such as a jewelry shop specializing in designer ankle bracelets and designer label prison attire. Catering to all your socialite needs. There are also plans a foot for a horror theme park where you can dress up as a prisoner and stay in Paris's cell. The Horror part is Paris will be in the same cell talking incessantly about herself.

Go Directly to Jail:
The Go directly to Jail, don't pass go, don't collect $200 dollars will now be reworded to now state 'Go Directly to your 8 bedroom mansion, have another snort of go, give your dealer $200.'

Water Works:
The Water Works is back, with tears flowing at an ever increasing rate.

Get Out of Jail Free:
The Get out of Jail Free card is now rescindable depending on the mood of fellow players.
These cards will be offered and then when the prisoner thinks they are free they will be rescinded with an ensuring media frenzy.

Community Chest:
Community Chest is to be renamed the Paris Bra fund.

Railway Stations:
Instead of railways stations there will now be Hilton Hotels.

The New York Hilton
The Miami Hilton
The London Hilton
The Paris Hilton.
Due to some problems the Paris Hilton's upper floors seem to be vacant,
although its lobby area reports high turnstile activity.

The Chance cards will now be called the 'Absolutely last chance cards'
You'll receive 7 of these then you will finally be sent to Jail.

Instead of winning $10 as a runner up in a beauty contest, you'll now get nothing as there are no prizes for second.

Electric Company:
The Electricity Company is back, but instead of showing a light globe its symbol will be am little more dim.

Poor Tax: (Luxury Tax)
The Poor Tax Square will now be called the Poor Little Ms Hilton Boo Who Tax, which isn't such a small sum, its a much larger sum now paid directly to L.A. County Sheriff's department.

Free Parking:
Somebody doesn't have her license anymore, the space formerly used for free parking will now be used to build an alternative therapies college for traumatized rich brats instead.

Right: Paris on the Way back to Jail


The Poorer Neighborhoods
Some of the low cost rental properties are now going to be bulldozed and high rise Hotels and large mansions have be built instead.

Poor Paris:
Isn't it terrible, Paris is being treated like shes just, well common. Maybe she needs a present to brighten her day up?
I know just the thing! Some new boxers for her, how thoughtful!

Don't Forget to check out the New Paris Hilton game at Mr Bagel Games

[ Bagelblogger: This is Satire ]


Barbara said...

You are so right! Debbie Schlussel has a great commentary that a woman arrested for talking too loudly on a cell phone got 30 days!

Paris crying & refusing to eat? Too bad! Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

Steve said...

Hilarious Mr Bagel!

BUT, now that she is back behind bars, will someone pleeeese throw away the key! Lol!

TallFreak said...

LOL. I loved your board game graphic. Check out my site to see an awesome "Go to Jail" monopoly card of Paris.

hearth tablets said...

Thats Hot.

Mr Bagel said...

Barbara: You could pose an argument about the validity of fine defaulters being exposed to incarceration, but the simple truth is if Paris is sent to jail, she should receive no special treatment beyond acknowledgment of security issues and perhaps protective custody.
That her visitors have been given the express queue when it comes to visitation rights is another indication of both the unfairness of the US judicial system when it comes to money and privledge and the strong possibilities of corruption when you allow significant sums of money to be donated to political campaigns.

Is it a total coincidence that Paris Hilton's grandfather made a sizable donation to help the election of the sheriff in the previous year?

tallfreak: Very funny, the 'get out of jail card' was also an idea before I did the board, it was well done.

hearth tablets: Lol I doubt Paris would be saying 'that's hot' right now!

regards Mr Bagel