A New Edition of Monopoly:
Paris Hilton the Limited Edition
The manufacturers of Monopoly are proud to release its newest version of the world's most popular game.
It will be referred to as the Paris Hilton limited edition, (although rumor has it, it isn't quite such a limited edition.)
It features quite a few new additions, as well as some of the more traditional ones.
Some of the changes are:
This square is to be rededicated and redeveloped into an shopping center offering facilities such as a jewelry shop specializing in designer ankle bracelets and designer label prison attire. Catering to all your socialite needs. There are also plans a foot for a horror theme park where you can dress up as a prisoner and stay in Paris's cell. The Horror part is Paris will be in the same cell talking incessantly about herself.
Go Directly to Jail:
The Go directly to Jail, don't pass go, don't collect $200 dollars will now be reworded to now state 'Go Directly to your 8 bedroom mansion, have another snort of go, give your dealer $200.'
The Water Works is back, with tears flowing at an ever increasing rate.
Get Out of Jail Free:
The Get out of Jail Free card is now rescindable depending on the mood of fellow players.
These cards will be offered and then when the prisoner thinks they are free they will be rescinded with an ensuring media frenzy.
Community Chest is to be renamed the Paris Bra fund.
Instead of railways stations there will now be Hilton Hotels.
The New York Hilton
The Miami Hilton
The London Hilton
The Paris Hilton.
Due to some problems the Paris Hilton's upper floors seem to be vacant,
although its lobby area reports high turnstile activity.
The Chance cards will now be called the 'Absolutely last chance cards'
You'll receive 7 of these then you will finally be sent to Jail.
Instead of winning $10 as a runner up in a beauty contest, you'll now get nothing as there are no prizes for second.
The Electricity Company is back, but instead of showing a light globe its symbol will be am little more dim.
Poor Tax: (Luxury Tax)
The Poor Tax Square will now be called the Poor Little Ms Hilton Boo Who Tax, which isn't such a small sum, its a much larger sum now paid directly to L.A. County Sheriff's department.
Somebody doesn't have her license anymore, the space formerly used for free parking will now be used to build an alternative therapies college for traumatized rich brats instead.
Right: Paris on the Way back to Jail
The Poorer Neighborhoods
Some of the low cost rental properties are now going to be bulldozed and high rise Hotels and large mansions have be built instead.
Isn't it terrible, Paris is being treated like shes just, well common. Maybe she needs a present to brighten her day up?
I know just the thing! Some new boxers for her, how thoughtful!
Don't Forget to check out the New Paris Hilton game at Mr Bagel Games
[ Bagelblogger: This is Satire ]